Funny Moms's definitions

NMP Parenting

Not My Problem Parenting... a style of parenting where parents utilize natural consequences for children regarding their actions. Especially useful in parenting school age children who forget their lunch, forget to wear a coat or had detention because they didn't do their homework.

A very effective parenting style that can result in children taking more ownership of their actions and develops independence and self responsibility.

Teacher to parent: "Mrs. G, your son Eli has forgotten his homework folder three weeks in a row, and now he's going to lose his recess for a week."
Parent: "Sounds good to me. NMP. I did my homework. I have a good job. I get to chit chat with my friends at work at the water cooler. Sorry Eli, next time don't forget your homework folder. Not My Problem. NMP Parenting works!"
Child: "Waaaaa... I want my Mommy to rescue me. Oh well, I hate losing my recess so you know I'm not forgetting my folder EVER again!"

by Funny Moms August 11, 2014

fuckdore

Fuckdore is a word used to describe someone that you adore, but also want to fuck. It implies magnificent fucking ability, combined with being nice and fun.

Sam: So I take it you have no problem meeting men and getting dates?
Me: Duh, of course, men fuckdore me, I don't even need online dating! I'm fucktabulous!

by Funny Moms November 16, 2016

FuckTime

FuckTime is the go-to method for sexual relations when two parties are not in the same vicinity. "FaceTime" is commonly used for seeing family and friends, whereas "FuckTime" is an extension of an intimate sexual relationship, going on-line, in an effort to simulate what might be happening in person, otherwise. A highly effective alternative to Face to Face interactions. Does the job under the difficult long distance circumstances.

Hi babydoll, I'm at my parent's but I think I can FuckTime...

For sure, lock the door, time to FuckTime!

Why did you have to leave town? Thank God for FuckTime! It's actually super hot!

So nice!

by Funny Moms September 17, 2016

Fucknormous

Unfortunately, fuknormous is a natural outcry of a female when she accidentally gets a glimpse of herself in a mirror and realizes she really, really looks fat. Never a good thing, but most likely true. It's a way to self describe that you look enormous. Awful.

V to best gf: oh my god, are you kidding me? I look fucknormous in that window!
Gf: ya kinda sucks, but didn't you say you ate like a pig on your trip to Puerto Vallarta?

by Funny Moms August 8, 2016