Definitions by Frank Fontain
Bildo
Knock knock....
Amy: You home Bill?
Bill: Oh hi Amy what can I get you? A cup of sugar?
Amy: Ummmmm just wanted to know if I could borrow your Bildo
Bill: OK no worries, I have a pie in the oven so you can only borrow it for about 10 mins
Amy: You home Bill?
Bill: Oh hi Amy what can I get you? A cup of sugar?
Amy: Ummmmm just wanted to know if I could borrow your Bildo
Bill: OK no worries, I have a pie in the oven so you can only borrow it for about 10 mins
Bildo by Frank Fontain November 26, 2020
Fudge knuckle
When you have uncontrollable rectal leaking and it ends up all over your testicles and inner thighs. You reach down to check what has happened and your hands and knuckles get covered in the devils fudge.
Phil : I am so embarrassed, i ate a dodgy vindaloo last night and it has played havoc with my nether regions.
Damo : how could you tell what had happened?
Phil : i reached down to check and ended up with a bloody fudge knuckle !
Damo : i have to go now, i think i left the iron on....
Damo : how could you tell what had happened?
Phil : i reached down to check and ended up with a bloody fudge knuckle !
Damo : i have to go now, i think i left the iron on....
Fudge knuckle by Frank Fontain June 15, 2019
The Vac truck
THE VAC TRUCK
3 nude males release bodily fluids into a large mixing bowl. The first person defecates, the second urinates and the third ejaculates. Now here is the fun part! To decide who vacuums the up the waste three players get nude and whoever has the shortest penis is the loser and must suck up the contents of the mixing bowl using a short length of rubber hose. Engine noises are a must whilst performing this most degrading act.
3 nude males release bodily fluids into a large mixing bowl. The first person defecates, the second urinates and the third ejaculates. Now here is the fun part! To decide who vacuums the up the waste three players get nude and whoever has the shortest penis is the loser and must suck up the contents of the mixing bowl using a short length of rubber hose. Engine noises are a must whilst performing this most degrading act.
Jason: Hey Ken and Brendon i have a brand new mixing bowl, would you two like to perform the vac truck?
Ken: ok, why not?
Brendon: as long as it doesn't involve dick measuring comp....
Ken: ok, why not?
Brendon: as long as it doesn't involve dick measuring comp....
The Vac truck by Frank Fontain June 12, 2019
The polish door hinge
Typically involves a lady of larger stature and a thick polish sausage along with a can do attitude. Strip the larger lass down naked and lay her flat on her back. Gently warm the sausage in a microwave, now insert the sausage into the vagina for a period until orgasm is almost reached then at that moment jam the sausage right up the anus. Her legs will slam shut like a well oiled door hinge. The element of surprise is a must and it is advised to be wearing sneakers as you may require a quick getaway. If you do want to eat the sausage later a condom is recommended.
Peter: have you see that girl down at the local deli?
Frank: do you mean the plus sized girl?
Peter: yeah thats her, we got into a bit on friday night and i gave her the polish door hinge!
Frank: was that polish sausage and cheese sandwiches you made us for lunch??
Peter: ummmmm yeah...
Frank: do you mean the plus sized girl?
Peter: yeah thats her, we got into a bit on friday night and i gave her the polish door hinge!
Frank: was that polish sausage and cheese sandwiches you made us for lunch??
Peter: ummmmm yeah...
The polish door hinge by Frank Fontain May 23, 2019
poo shoe
This is not to replace a traditional shoe but more of a flesh shoe. Now you will need a drunken person to lay flat on the floor face down, and spread the buttucks. The drunken person is to relax as this can be quite painful, now gently work each toe inside the anus one by one until you have all toes inside. Proceed deeper until the whole foot is inside the anus and the persons anus resembles a shoe on your foot. It is not uncommon to hear "do these come in a size 9? " or " does this shoe come in black?"
At this point it is best not to jusge either party in this act , as you should never judge a person til you have walked a mile in their shoes.
At this point it is best not to jusge either party in this act , as you should never judge a person til you have walked a mile in their shoes.
Brian: i can never find a shoe that fits right
Craig : have you tried on a poo shoe?
Brian: no but i would love to wear one...
Craig: i will go get the vodka....
Craig : have you tried on a poo shoe?
Brian: no but i would love to wear one...
Craig: i will go get the vodka....
poo shoe by Frank Fontain April 19, 2019
The Pork and cheese balloon
This act can only be performed when you have a larger than normal foreskin. Now, do not wash your cock for weeks letting the dickcheese build and build creating quite a sharp pungent odour, which should sting the nostrils when near. Now have your partner blow up your foreskin, much like you would a balloon and see how long the balloon can stay inflated. *Not recommended for sexual begginers or lactose intolerant
Allan: Mary and i have found a new act to add to our bedroom activities.
Greg : What is it Allan?
Allan: its called The Pork and cheese balloon
Greg: i feel sick just thinking about it...
Greg : What is it Allan?
Allan: its called The Pork and cheese balloon
Greg: i feel sick just thinking about it...
The Pork and cheese balloon by Frank Fontain April 17, 2019
Kermit the flog
This act involves traditionally a large green frog, if unavailable any old frog or toad will do. First hold the frog in one hand and as you squeeze it the mouth will open creating a vessel for your spunk. Now jack off vigorously until the point of ejaculation, aim and shoot your hot load into kermits mouth. Hence the title Kermit the flog.
Brendon: aha ! I have caught myself another green tree frog.
Jack: What will you do with it Brendon?
Brendon: Stand back and watch me kermit the flog this little fella !
Jack: i hope its female !
Brendon: i dont...
Jack: What will you do with it Brendon?
Brendon: Stand back and watch me kermit the flog this little fella !
Jack: i hope its female !
Brendon: i dont...
Kermit the flog by Frank Fontain April 16, 2019