That bitch Vanessa wouldn't drain my sack last night, so while she was grabbing a snack from the fridge I blue scootered all over her pillow. Flipped it over afterwards so she wouldn't find it until she snuggled into bed that night.
by Fenster's Fu September 23, 2022
Queef Pulmonary Resuscitation (QPR)
A questionable but passionately delivered life-saving technique involving vaginal air and teamwork.
When someone flatlines during extreme recreational activities (e.g. clam baking, over-zooted on edibles, or just watching The Notebook too hard), QPR is your go-to. It involves forcefully blasting air into the unconscious subject’s lungs using a high-pressure vaginal exhale (aka a power queef), while simultaneously delivering rapid compressions to the dangle-dong to keep blood circulating.
For best results, QPR should be a two-person operation:
Primary Rescuer: Handles the queef-to-mouth ventilation.
Secondary "Fluffer": Keeps the beef bayonet at full mast to maintain blood flow.
This advanced maneuver is also known in medical bro-circles as MTQPR — Manage Troi Queef Pulmonary Resuscitation — named after the Star Trek hottie heroine who somehow always looked like she was one deep breath away from saving lives in space.
Warning: May revive the body but kill the dignity.
A questionable but passionately delivered life-saving technique involving vaginal air and teamwork.
When someone flatlines during extreme recreational activities (e.g. clam baking, over-zooted on edibles, or just watching The Notebook too hard), QPR is your go-to. It involves forcefully blasting air into the unconscious subject’s lungs using a high-pressure vaginal exhale (aka a power queef), while simultaneously delivering rapid compressions to the dangle-dong to keep blood circulating.
For best results, QPR should be a two-person operation:
Primary Rescuer: Handles the queef-to-mouth ventilation.
Secondary "Fluffer": Keeps the beef bayonet at full mast to maintain blood flow.
This advanced maneuver is also known in medical bro-circles as MTQPR — Manage Troi Queef Pulmonary Resuscitation — named after the Star Trek hottie heroine who somehow always looked like she was one deep breath away from saving lives in space.
Warning: May revive the body but kill the dignity.
Johnny full-on flatlined mid hotbox while clam baking, but luckily Suzzie—certified in QPR (Queef Pulmonary Resuscitation, obviously)—straddled him like a heroic fart phoenix and blasted life back into his lungs with a power queef so strong it registered on the Richter scale.
by Fenster's Fu June 08, 2025
That weird red bump on your shaft. You don't want to admit where it came from and no idea what it is.
Yo Chris, how's that red inflamed dick nodule doing after you came back from the Donkey Show in Tijuana?
by Fenster's Fu August 26, 2023