A clown aborshun (abortion) is someone who is not funny. The term was created by Twitter beauty @sexpot_sharon is explained by her as "a lickel baby clown wi a clown mum an a clown dad an baby turn owt to be dull as fuck an not funny so they aborshund it"
you're just not funny, you're a clown aborshun
"Am in bits" or to be in bits means to be very upset, to be mentally broken.
Am in bits ere, mi mam telld mi baby jesus wer dead
Fert is a Northern term used to replace the word 'to' in a sentence.
"av got to go to mi mams"
"av got fert go to mi mams"
But you would not say "av got fert go fert mi mams" only use it once.
Av got fert go to mi mams