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Definitions by El chicken

Shag Vision 

When the girl/guy someone has been getting close with sexually/intimately is put on a pedestal and looks better than they actually appear to that person
Guy 1: I dunno mate, Jessica has huge titties, a big ass and she's so hot!!
Guy 2: Ahh, that just sounds like you got Shag Vision, man. I wouldn't mind her but I wouldn't go out of my way
Shag Vision by El chicken January 4, 2015

Insurance Wipe 

To prevent an unwanted incident after evacuating the log tunnel, you should always make sure to do one final wipe of your entire anal crevice and surrounding area to ensure that there is no more shit on your ass.
"I've been feeling really dodgy mate, so I did a couple extra insurance wipes just to be sure.."
Insurance Wipe by El chicken January 4, 2015

Dance of the Mad Shitter 

When you wake up one morning to find the gates of your asshole ready to give way, consequently you find yourself having to to fucking charge to the bathroom to ensure that the brown discharge lands in the goddamn shitter and not your undergarments.
"I woke up early and saw eddie charge past me to the john.. Damn son, it must have been the Dance of the mad shitter."