Cancer crystals

White sugar; can be applied to salt, brown sugar, sweetener, but most usually to white sugar, on the basis that "everything" - sugar, sweetener, coffee, red meat, water, oxygen and light will cause cancer (eventually).

Taking all available information into account, the only way to avoid dying of cancer is to forswear all food and drink, and shut yourself in an airtight lead box. You won't die of cancer. You will still die, and quite quickly, but it won't be of cancer.

"Coffee's done. Milk and sugar ?"

"No milk, but gimme two spoons of cancer crystals".

by eighth of seven February 06, 2010

book of words

1. The instructions, user or technical manual for a piece of equipment.

2. By inference, any important piece of documentation, either as treeware or in electronic form.

"Where's the Book of Words for the router ?"

"I've logged the fault in the Book of Words."

by Eighth of Seven January 15, 2007

Total replacement therapy

When something is so badly damaged that the only option is to get a new one; it might be a critical component, or the whole thing.

"Can you fix it ?"

"No. Your hard drive is screwed. Total replacement therapy is indicated."

"Bugger !"

by eighth of seven February 06, 2010

brain therapy

A slap on the head, usually the back of the head. Not hrd enough to really hurt, but suffient to shake up the recipient more than a little.

Often used in a group of males to "encourage" the one that's always a bit slower than the others.

"So that's three Big Macs, a Quarter pounder, a chicken sandwich .... Jim, what do you want ?"

"Err... a Big - no, one of those fish .... can I have nuggets ? No hang on, something with bacon ....."

<SMACK>

"Make your mind up NOW, unless you want some more brain therapy !"

"Ok, OK, Big Mac and Fries !"

by Eighth of Seven April 09, 2009