Eighth Of Seven's definitions

Scruttock's "Old Dirigible"

A fictional type of Real Ale, of allegedly lethal alcohol content and the tendency to produce a barin-crushing hangover the next day.

See also "Suicider"

"Christ, you look rough ! What have you been doing ?"

"Awwww..... the usual .... went out with the lads last night and had eleventeen pints of Scruttock's "Old Dirigible", then a curry..... got any aspirin ?"

by Eighth Of Seven February 18, 2009

Cancer crystals

White sugar; can be applied to salt, brown sugar, sweetener, but most usually to white sugar, on the basis that "everything" - sugar, sweetener, coffee, red meat, water, oxygen and light will cause cancer (eventually).

Taking all available information into account, the only way to avoid dying of cancer is to forswear all food and drink, and shut yourself in an airtight lead box. You won't die of cancer. You will still die, and quite quickly, but it won't be of cancer.

"Coffee's done. Milk and sugar ?"

"No milk, but gimme two spoons of cancer crystals".

by eighth of seven February 6, 2010

Total replacement therapy

When something is so badly damaged that the only option is to get a new one; it might be a critical component, or the whole thing.

"Can you fix it ?"

"No. Your hard drive is screwed. Total replacement therapy is indicated."

"Bugger !"

by eighth of seven February 6, 2010

Sith Tzu

A Shih Tzu which has turned to the Dark Side of the Force. Since they are highly intelligent, mischevious and arrogant anyway, this is but a small step. Many Shih Tzu look like small hairy versions of Yoda anyway.

"That... that .... er ... dog ? life form ? what ? has just stolen my mobile phone from my jacket pocket and hidden it under the sofa !"

"Sorry, he's a Sith Tzu..... he can't resist being evil."

by Eighth of seven April 2, 2008