Dr. Evil 518's definitions

pickled nipple

A condition whereby cold weather, moisture and/or lack of a brassiere forge the perfect storm of mammary offensiveness: rock-hard, lumpy, chilled little mounds of flesh protruding through one's shirt like tiny gherkins.

Oh my gosh! Lindsay came to the party without a bra and she had pickled nipple all night long!

by Dr. Evil 518 April 6, 2011

camel phase

A human may exist for many moons without sex, going through life's motions and barely even noticing the lack of fornication in his/her life. Indeed, once a sex-deprived individual overcomes the horniness, desperation and loneliness of celibacy, and lives long enough in absence of sex, he/she enters a new phase of acceptance and ownership of this destiny. As a camel may survive on its own supply of water in his hump, humans, too, may self-sustain in their own self-humping phase: Camel Phase.

I haven't been laid since the Bush era. I'm in camel phase by now.

by Dr. Evil 518 July 25, 2012

nervole

Nervole = nervous butthole! This unseemly condition results from a combination of nerves, coffee and/or a weak stomach. Frequently results in flatulence, hershey squirts or frighteningly disruptive digestive noises.

As we waited outside the testing room, I could feel the nervole building..

by Dr. Evil 518 January 24, 2011

troll hole

A vagina with hair so unfathomably long and overgrown, it bears a disturbing resemblance to a troll doll.

Karen is always so put together and groomed; that's why I was shocked to find she has a troll hole!

by Dr. Evil 518 April 6, 2011

side meat

"Side meat" is the charred (and extra flavorful) bits of meat that often fall off the sides of burgers, steaks, chicken breasts and roasted turkey. Side meat may "accidentally" make its way onto ravenous non meat-eaters' plates, where it is "accidentally" consumed amidst heaping forkfuls of quinoa and kale. Caution: excessive consumption of side meat may lead to lapsing of vegetarianism.

Vegetarian: "Oh no! I accidentally got a bite of your prime rib in with my sesame kale!"
Other person: "Stop stealing bites of side meat and just admit you like steak!"

by Dr. Evil 518 July 25, 2012

flingship

A flingship is a platonic friendship, usually of two females, characterized by the same parabolic curve of interest and intensity that defines classic romantic flings. Flingship participants spend increasing time together, followed by an intense crescendo, then an abrupt (and often painful) fizzle. Flingships, which are frequently born of the common interests of work or school, are common in big cities with high transplant rates, such as San Diego and NYC.

Erin and Jamie meet in physics class, where they become fast friends, drawing naked pictures of the professor and going to the coffee cart during breaks. They begin to go to happy hours together, text during work and introduce each other to friends and family; they are almost considered best friends...and then suddenly, when the term ends, they cease spending time together almost entirely.

Flingships also terminate when said "friend" sleeps with other friend's significant other.

by Dr. Evil 518 December 7, 2010

tubs world

When you enter a relationship, you enter a new phase of life: Nights on the couch, gazing dreamily into your lover's eyes. Moonlit walks on the beach. Ravenous consumption of rocky road. Twenty pounds. Brunches. Love handles. Acne. Baby showers. Elastic waist pants. Alas, before you know it, your dream of relationship bliss has become a new reality: Tubs World.

Brah: "Hey brah. You surfing Saturday?
Boyfriend: "No. Lila and I are going to the farmers market and Home Depot."
Brah: (blank stare)
Boyfriend: "Tubs world."

by Dr. Evil 518 July 25, 2012