Dr. Evil 518's definitions

Patient Funk

This all-encompassing term is used to describe any one of the many contagions, odors or bodily fluids that potentially fester upon a patient (typically a physical therapy patient). When a particularly rampant cold spreads through a healthcare clinic, it can often be attributed to "patient funk." When one's sweater smells like feet after a hard day's work, blame patient funk. When a foul odor wafts through the waiting room, across the gym, and into the charting room, one can be sure there is patient funk to be shared...

Thing 1: Dude, what's this brown crusty stuff on my khakis?
Thing 2: Ten bucks says it's patient funk. Hope it's not poo.

or

Thing 2: I've had this cough for 3 months now. WTF?
Thing 1: Yeah, you got patient funk from that shoulder patient who came in with pneumonia in January.

by Dr. Evil 518 May 21, 2011

troll hole

A vagina with hair so unfathomably long and overgrown, it bears a disturbing resemblance to a troll doll.

Karen is always so put together and groomed; that's why I was shocked to find she has a troll hole!

by Dr. Evil 518 April 6, 2011

Double Butthole

Unfortunately, some girls' cooters smell so bad, it's as if they had not one, but TWO buttholes.

I was so excited to tap that ho I met at the club last night, but she got double butthole!

by Dr. Evil 518 January 24, 2011

flingship

A flingship is a platonic friendship, usually of two females, characterized by the same parabolic curve of interest and intensity that defines classic romantic flings. Flingship participants spend increasing time together, followed by an intense crescendo, then an abrupt (and often painful) fizzle. Flingships, which are frequently born of the common interests of work or school, are common in big cities with high transplant rates, such as San Diego and NYC.

Erin and Jamie meet in physics class, where they become fast friends, drawing naked pictures of the professor and going to the coffee cart during breaks. They begin to go to happy hours together, text during work and introduce each other to friends and family; they are almost considered best friends...and then suddenly, when the term ends, they cease spending time together almost entirely.

Flingships also terminate when said "friend" sleeps with other friend's significant other.

by Dr. Evil 518 December 7, 2010

pickled nipple

A condition whereby cold weather, moisture and/or lack of a brassiere forge the perfect storm of mammary offensiveness: rock-hard, lumpy, chilled little mounds of flesh protruding through one's shirt like tiny gherkins.

Oh my gosh! Lindsay came to the party without a bra and she had pickled nipple all night long!

by Dr. Evil 518 April 6, 2011

side meat

"Side meat" is the charred (and extra flavorful) bits of meat that often fall off the sides of burgers, steaks, chicken breasts and roasted turkey. Side meat may "accidentally" make its way onto ravenous non meat-eaters' plates, where it is "accidentally" consumed amidst heaping forkfuls of quinoa and kale. Caution: excessive consumption of side meat may lead to lapsing of vegetarianism.

Vegetarian: "Oh no! I accidentally got a bite of your prime rib in with my sesame kale!"
Other person: "Stop stealing bites of side meat and just admit you like steak!"

by Dr. Evil 518 July 25, 2012

Monkeyvining

Monkeyvining is a common dating practice employed by lonely, insecure or ineffably sexy people who are too hot to stay on the market after becoming single. Monkeyvining results when said monkeyviner swings to the vine of new relationship, without first letting go of the prior relationship vine. No free-sailing "time to discover myself" - which we all know really means cessation of bathing and bushwhacking - is taken between relationships, which usually means a wealth of emotional baggage and unrealistic expectations awaits proprietor of subsequent vine.

Commonly referred to as "serial monogamy," monkeyvining frequently results from fear of becoming forever relegated to the shadowy and dismal doom of repeatedly watching 28 dresses with your 28 cats.

Sheila has yet another man! She has been monkeyvining from boyfriend to boyfriend for at least six years now...

by Dr. Evil 518 December 29, 2010