12 definitions by Dorkmuffin

Pickup artist

Noun: A person who orders takeout for the whole office and pays for each order separately rather than pooling the money beforehand and figuring out the change later.

Shep missed his train because some pickup artist at the front of the line in the restaurant freaked out when Bob’s envelope was a dollar short.

by Dorkmuffin May 2, 2019

Old Yeller

A sports dad who is never happy with the performance of the officials, the other team, his own coach, or his own kid, and makes sure everyone around him knows it.

Is it wrong to wish that Old Yeller behind us would meet the same fate as the dog in the book?

by Dorkmuffin May 3, 2019

Hambooger

The result of someone blowing snot all over a burger, whether by accident or on purpose.

Shep’s allergies hit him while he was grilling out, so he wound up serving juicy delicious hamboogers to everyone at the picnic.

by Dorkmuffin April 29, 2019

22-wheeler

Noun: A blockage created by a “careful driver” attempting to pass a tractor-trailer; upon reaching the back of the trailer, the car slows to 1 mph faster than the truck and takes 3 or 4 miles to pass before resuming normal speed.

Shep really had to use the bathroom and almost didn’t make it to the rest stop in time because some grandpa created a 22-wheeler right in front of him.

by Dorkmuffin May 4, 2019

Nose hose

Noun: Not actually a real thing, but it appears to be located in the sinus cavities of toddlers and constantly blows out mucus at varying speeds.

When he was little, Shep’s nose hoses would always range from slow drip to geyser.

by Dorkmuffin April 29, 2019