Ma’am jam

A traffic jam created by two or more moms who stop to chat in a doorway, oblivious of the crowd behind them.

Shep thought he could make it out of the gym before the concession stand closed, but he didn’t count on the inevitable postgame ma’am jam.

by Dorkmuffin April 28, 2019

Pickup artist

Noun: A person who orders takeout for the whole office and pays for each order separately rather than pooling the money beforehand and figuring out the change later.

Shep missed his train because some pickup artist at the front of the line in the restaurant freaked out when Bob’s envelope was a dollar short.

by Dorkmuffin May 01, 2019

Lane violation

Noun: When someone parks their shopping cart on one side of a grocery store lane and stands on the opposite side to look for an item, completely blocking traffic in both directions.

Shep was unable to get to the sardines because some lady committed a lane violation.

by Dorkmuffin May 02, 2019

Make it sleet

Verb. When financial circumstances prevent one from throwing around dollars but still allow reckless spending of coins.

Shep blew his entire allowance on video games, but he raided his piggy bank so he could make it sleet at the ice cream store.

by Dorkmuffin May 03, 2019

Jack the Tipper

Noun: A guy who leaves a dollar per person on the table, no matter the amount of the bill.

After providing three hours of exceptional service, Shep was horrified to learn that Jack the Tipper was the host of that night’s party of twelve.

by Dorkmuffin May 02, 2019