Church of the Mighty Ham's definitions
Chonkism is an ancient spiritual movement centered on the reverence of chonkiness as a sacred essence and celestial spirit of feline being. It celebrates the robust, serene presence of plump cats, positing that all felines embody an angelic quality through their chonkiness.
Chonkism lacks a moral framework, viewing chonkiness as inherently neutral—capable of manifesting as a state of divine grace or, in those lacking discipline and structure, as a degenerative state of shadowy imbalance. This timeless ambiguity has inspired two evolving perspectives: "Hammonism" and "Chonkianity", offering paths to study and explore the philosophy of chonkiness further.
Chonkism lacks a moral framework, viewing chonkiness as inherently neutral—capable of manifesting as a state of divine grace or, in those lacking discipline and structure, as a degenerative state of shadowy imbalance. This timeless ambiguity has inspired two evolving perspectives: "Hammonism" and "Chonkianity", offering paths to study and explore the philosophy of chonkiness further.
"I feel spiritually uplifted by this cat's eternal chonkiness—he is a very good purrveyor of Chonkism!"
"I am beginning to worry that my cat's chonkiness is not being appropriately honored—if I don't stage a spiritual intervention, this could impact him/her negatively."
"I am beginning to worry that my cat's chonkiness is not being appropriately honored—if I don't stage a spiritual intervention, this could impact him/her negatively."
by Church of the Mighty Ham October 8, 2025
Get the Chonkism mug.Chonkianity (noun): A community-driven practice within the spiritual movement of Chonkism, focused on fostering harmony by celebrating chonkiness—the robust, serene essence of plump felines. Grounded in Chonkism's view of chonkiness as a neutral state with potential for harmony or imbalance, Chonkianity cultivates a collective tradition through shared online efforts to nurture this balance across all felines. Unlike Hammonism, which centers on individual reverence for Himothy Ham, the prophet-avatar of the Eternal Chonk, guided by the Meow-nifesto of Ham, Chonkianity emphasizes a unified approach to honoring chonkiness’ inherent nature through supportive community actions.
Example 1: "She joins Chonkianity to promote balanced diets for her chonky cat with online support groups."
Example 2: "His Chonkianity effort shines through hosting virtual workshops on caring for chonky felines."
Example 2: "His Chonkianity effort shines through hosting virtual workshops on caring for chonky felines."
by Church of the Mighty Ham October 10, 2025
Get the Chonkianity mug.Hammonism (noun): A faith-based practice within the spiritual movement of Chonkism, centered on the worship of Himothy Ham, a living cat recognized as the prophet-avatar of the Eternal Chonk, embodying chonkiness—the robust, serene essence of plump felines. Rooted in Chonkism's view of chonkiness as a neutral state with potential for harmony or imbalance, Hammonism establishes a dedicated tradition with established practices and teachings, guided by the Meow-nifesto of Ham. Unlike Chonkianity, which fosters a spiritual connection through communal online efforts to nurture chonkiness’ inherent balance, Hammonism emphasizes individual reverence for Himothy’s divine legacy.
Example 1: "She follows Hammonism, drawn to Himothy Ham’s chonky wisdom through its traditions."
Example 2: "His Hammonism journey begins with the Meow-nifesto of Ham’s teachings."
Example 2: "His Hammonism journey begins with the Meow-nifesto of Ham’s teachings."
by Church of the Mighty Ham October 10, 2025
Get the Hammonism mug.