In ascending order of ignorance:
Computer Science Professor/Student:
"That cool computer thing I helped make."
"The system I haven't rebooted for three years which automatically manages my entire life. Also my life configuration isn't forwards incompatible with Life Vista."
"Not only does the (good) software I used to use on Windows come free with it, but when you get used to everything else (or configure it to your tastes) it's actually far better than Windows. I've switched."
"I can check my email, watch my DVDs and listen to my music without "Illegal Operations" or worrying about configuring my "firewall""
"What? Can I eat it?"
Windows advocate (who does not know what a file is without a cryptic three letter code at the end. How does MP3 stand for the third (audio) layer of the Motion Picture Expert Group's first codec?!):
"That pile of crap "recompile your kernel" thing where you have to type everything and my favourite 'Yet Another First Person Shooter Which Is Just Quake 3 With Different Guns' doesn't even work on it because a) It is obviously the OS developer's fault if third party software works on it or not and b) I haven't even been on transgaming.com. Now I'm going to go to as many public message posting systems as possible and contradict myself at least three times per sentence as I rave about how it doesn't even have graphics (which microsoft obviously invented), it doesn't have any software to stop my personal information from being sent to the developers which shouldn't happen anyway, you get all of these technical system options to choose without a decent option like just resetting anything you choose to give you a US keyboard when you reboot (after a nice BSOD) and all of it's graphics are a rip off of windows. Especially all of the stuff windows ripped off from Apple. It's even used on crap "Power PC" and "ARM" and stuff which is crap because windows can't use them."
Of course this neglects the people who use/d other systems (yes, there are alterantives to UNIX and windows!) who lie just above the middle and say things like "Wow, this has loads of really good features. Pretty much like my old OS." and "I think it's good, but it's pretty much like my current OS." Or the Mac users who lie above the beetles and say things like "Aaaagh! It gives me a choice!" and "Why the hell am I using this when my computer came with virtually identical MacOSX?"
Oh yeah, and I don't count "Blue, silver or green" as a customisable interface. 'Skins' were invented by people who thought their own OS looks crap. Oh wait, windows isn't your own, you cannot change or sell it!
I had to change the configuration files on Linux, but that's OK considering I couldn't change anything at all on windows without decompiling and recompiling an executable and it's dynamically linked libraries, resulting in a changed picture and a lawsuit. God Linux is SOOOO complicated!