Wet wood is when a guy drinks too much and cannot get a full erection. It in that "dick purgatory" of not hard enough to fuck and not soft enough to hide.
The term is derived from what happens when fire wood is left uncovered and gets wet, it can no longer catch fired until it dries out.
"Yeah, I brought that chick home from the bar last night, but I had wet wood so I couldn't seal the deal."
a girl who wears to much make up is referred to as a "shroud." This name stems from the "shroud of turin" which many chistians believe is the cloth that a man used to wipe jesus's face with on his way to be crucified. The mud from his face left an imprint of his features, just as the make up from said girl, will leave an imprint on your pillow.
"Dude, that chick is hot."
"No. Way to much make up, she's a shroud. You'll have to wash your pillows when she leaves."