Captain Bruce's definitions

School

An amazing place everyone seems to hate. But school is the place where they taught you about free speech, and also stopped you from using it against their school. The place where you spend over 50 hours a week to lean about how a bunch of people headed their sheep a few thousand years ago instead of learning about the stock market. The place that never taught you about rules because then you would know beating kids is a crime.

Dad: Hey jimmy, I am going to send you to this place for 18 years from now on, they will teach you a bunch of stuff.
Jimmy: That will help me, right?
Principal: Oh, no, not at all.
Jimmy: What?
Dad: What will you do if a kid is bad?
Principal: Oh, we will lock them in a room for 2 hours and let them do nothing at all.
Jimmy: What will you do if someone hurts me?
Principal: Oh, we are allowed to hurt you and we will do that a lot.
Dad: Is that legal?
Principal: I don't know *Shrugs*
Dad: Fair enough.
Jimmy: What will you do if a kid gets depressed?
Principal: Oh, we will blame it on someone or something else.
Jimmy: Will the teachers be nice?
Principal: If they are, we will fire them. Also they will be underpaid.
DAD: YOU WANT ME TO my kid to a place with hundreds of more kids with a high chance of bullied and depressed with no support and where you won't even help them and instead take money from me?
Principal: Hey, we will give you a paper with "Jimmy Passed" on it too
Dad: Deal.
Jimmy: What?

What's that place with bunch of depressed kids?
Oh, that is a school.

by Captain Bruce June 17, 2021