Blamtastical's definitions

Consentodore

"Consentodore" is a leadership title that plays off the naval title Commodore. It can be used by anyone of any gender regardless of naval affiliation, who is focused on enforcing and/or supporting consent within the group the leader leads/rules/commands/etc. Sometimes it is awarded as a nickname, sometimes it is chosen, sometimes it is the name of a role.

I am a Consentodore because supporting informed consent in my kink community is important to me.

by Blamtastical March 24, 2020

binarist

This is an adjective used to indicate anything which acts as if binary genders are superior, erases people whose genders exist outside of the "binary" of men and women, and so on. The noun form is binarism. Binarism is a specific form of transphobia, which means it is a form of sexism. Due to the prevalence of additional genders in many nonwhite cultures, binarism can also be an expression of racism.

Native Hawaiians have a third gender called "Māhū" and their cultural genders are a lot more fluid than general mainland American culture. White people rejecting the existence of Māhū individuals is not only binarist, it is also a racist extension of the ongoing attempts to squash indigenous cultures.

by Blamtastical September 12, 2019

binarism

Noun - As in sexism or racism, binarism refers to a collection of harmful thoughts, actions, laws, and other social systems that uplift one group of people while erasing or otherwise harming a minority group. In the case of binarism, the word refers to actions and thoughts that promote the gender binary (male/female) while excluding, erasing, or otherwise harming people of other genders or no gender at all. People harmed by binarism are generally people within the nonbinary gender umbrella, or agender. Binarism is often exhibited towards nonbinary people by cis gender and binary trans gender people alike.

The adjective form of binarism is binarist. A specific thought/action/etc that exhibits binarism is said to be binarist in quality.

I wish people would say "honored guests" instead of "ladies and gentlemen" when addressing groups. "Ladies and gentlemen" is so binarist! It makes my heart hurt just to hear it. I really wish binarism wasn't a thing, and that people like me were recognized as being real.

by Blamtastical May 17, 2018

segender

Similar to agender (which means not having a gender), segender is a term that can be used by anyone in any culture to indicate that the person using it does not have any of the genders defined in that person's own culture. Someone who is segender may also be agender if agender is not recognized in that person's culture.

In the United States of America, this would be someone whose gender is not male, female, or any of the genders recognized in the category known as "nonbinary" in those regions where "nonbinary" is recognized.

In India, this would be someone who is not male, female, hijra, or any of the subsets (such as aravanis).

As with any gender term, in many cultures it is impossible to know if someone is segender unless the person tells you.

The accent is on the first syllable, which the root word "se" from Latin meaning "apart." Pronounce it like you would segway, seclusion, secure.

I have never heard of a word from my culture that really describes my gender, so I just go with segender.

by Blamtastical October 12, 2017

homologism

n - a cognitive dysfunction which constitutes assuming that all people in one's own group think the same way one does about given/related topics

"Homologism is rampant in my church. Everybody there assumes that you agree with waiting until marriage to have sex, even though most people won't actually care if you do it."

"I'm so tired of the way my roommate keeps homologising me. Yes, we are both gay, but that doesn't mean I agree with her that bisexual people are just afraid to come all the way out of the closet. Bisexuality is a real thing."

by Blamtastical April 22, 2015

calendar-bonded

To be calendar-bonded is to be close enough to feel comfortable sharing personal calendars with one another. This typically occurs in romantic relationships, biological families, best-friendships, and other interpersonal relationships wherein planning and logistics are important. In terms of romantic relationships, polyamorous people have a strong tendency to be calendar-bonded earlier in the relationship than monogamous people simply due to logistics.

(This term was coined by Telind Bench of the bay area in California, in conjunction with one of his romantic partners.)

"Hey, lover! Would you like to share Google Calendars?"
"Oh, uh...Sorry sweetie, I'm just not ready to be calendar-bonded yet. We can talk about it though. How important is it to you?"

by Blamtastical February 11, 2015

wing team

It's like that term "wing man," except that it applies when there are more than just one person helping someone out in efforts to connect with someone they don't know in a romantic and/or sexual way. It's most often used in polyamory, when multiple partners support someone's efforts with a new partner. A wing team, however, does not always consist of established partners.

When Shelly and Anneli took me out to dinner for our triad anniversary, Anneli took a liking to someone sitting at the bar. Shelly and I had played wing team for Ann before, so we had the two them talking up a storm in no time at all, with full disclosure about our triad from the very beginning. Best anniversary ever.

by Blamtastical January 14, 2015