5 definitions by Bert Mandrake

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n: a striaght, expressionless, dead-pan face, combined with direct eye contact. A dutch face is directed by one individual to another in response to insult, ridicule, teasing or a failed attempt at humour. It is designed to demonstrate to the receiver, and others present, the profound lack of interest,enthusiasm or concern and implies utter indifference or mild contempt for their comments. dutch facing - v: the act of adopting a dutch face.
Joshua left the kitchen and joined his friend in the lounge. "your mum's got well saggy bangers" he remarked.
Timothy, said nothing, simply turning to look at his friend and pulling a scathing dutch face of grossly dead-pan proportions.
"you can fuck off with that dutch face you, you... you douche-bag." Said Joshua, his lower lip beginning to tremble at the sheer potency of Timothy's stare.
by Bert Mandrake February 16, 2009
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n: A promiscuous woman or a woman with few sexual inhibitions
My missus can't get enough of it up her shitter, and she's not happy unless I unload all over her face and then slap her tits as she rubs it in. She's such a fucking smut box
by Bert Mandrake January 07, 2011
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A particularly whirly pube that has detached itself from it's owner only to be deposited in an often unbecoming location such as a desk in the office or the rim of a toilet.
"Marjorie, bring a tissue will you, I've just been out to the kitchen to prepare my lunch and some shitcunt has left a clockspring on the breadboard"

"Good afternoon everyone, i've just been into trap 2 and there's slash all over the place and a big, curly clockspring on the porcelaine, whoever is responsible please go clean it up"
by Bert Mandrake September 06, 2007
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n: a penis
Claudia let out a yelp as Max stabbed her hind quarters with his venison dagger
by Bert Mandrake May 28, 2009
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An acronym meaning "Left, Right and Centre", describing situations in which events repeat themselves at a high frequency.
"Last night I was necking lagers LRC" or "Charlaton Athletic were all over Arsenal, LRC" or "I'm staying in today and tugging myself off LRC"
by Bert Mandrake August 22, 2007
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