Definitions by Artie J Saves

Canadian Cannon Ball

After you have done the Canadian Bottle Opener, you stand up putting on all your hockey gear except the pants. Climb on to your Zamboni inspired couch. As loud as possible you yell “Pools Open”. Jumping off the Zamboni inspired couch like a high diver yelling “Cannon Ball”, land, driving your Tim Hortons Tim Bit in their Tim Hortons Chocolate Donut Hole. This will create the biggest splash possible. This act requires extreme precision and should only be attempted by professionals, as an unsteady partner or eye can cause serious harm to one’s body.

So last night after I gave Nancy the most perfect Canadian Bottle Opener, I saw my chance and took it, giving her the biggest splashiest Canadian Cannon Ball ever.

Canadian Cannon Ball by Artie J Saves December 23, 2025

Canadian Bottle Opener

Just before you plan having anal sex with your partner, you reach out the window wearing a hockey glove (to protect your hand from the cold) you grab your bottle of Maple Syrup. (all good Canadians keep at least 3 bottles of their favorite Maple Syrup in the snow fridge outside their window) Sticking the top of the bottle of Maple Syrup in their partners Tim Hortons Chocolate Donut Hole, you proceed to empty the entire bottle. At the very last drop you pop the bottle out and in a downward motion making the “O” ring pop the top sound as any great Canadian Lager would do upon opening.

I bet Nancy over last night and gave her a proper Canadian Bottle Opener. It was so loud it almost caused an avalanche out back.

Canadian Bottle Opener by Artie J Saves December 23, 2025

Canadian Mud Puddle

When you’re banging a girl doggystyle and just before you cum you pull out and finish by vigorously jerking off with a hockey glove lubed up with Maple Syrup right on her brown eye. You then repeatedly slap the head of your penis on her brown eye making it splash. You want the same effect as jumping in a puddle of water.

During our lunch break I took Nancy out to the car and was getting it in. She wouldn’t stop complaining that we were gonna be late to punch back in. So I gave her a Canadian Mud Puddle and left her there to clean up so I could go back to work.

Canadian Mud Puddle by Artie J Saves December 5, 2025

Canadian Adele

Using Maple Syrup as a lubricant, you put one finger in her Tim Hortons love muffin and one up her arse so you can feel each finger through the little wall separating them.

Hello from the other side.

I bent Nancy over this morning while she was making flapjacks and gave her the Canadian Adele. Hello from the other side.

Canadian Adele by Artie J Saves December 5, 2025

Canadian Ballcuzzi

When a male or something with nuts submerges their testicles into a cup of warm Maple Syrup while their partner blows profusely through a straw that has been inserted into the cup creating a jacuzzi affect. For added pleasure the penis is wildly jerked with a hockey glove covered in Maple Syrup by the blowers free hand until ejaculation.

I tried to convince Nancy to give me a BJ last night during the Maple Leafs game, but I had to settle for the good old Canadian Ballcuzzi instead.

Canadian Ballcuzzi by Artie J Saves December 4, 2025