Definitions by A Dub
behead the brown tortoise
Verb: To take a shit. So called because the act of the sphyncter muscles, whilst pinching off the loaf, creates a guillotine effect upon the toroise's (the shit) neck.
"Hey guys, I'd love to go to the store with you, but I've really got to behead the brown tortoise right now."
behead the brown tortoise by A Dub November 10, 2008
spat
Noun: The wet spatter (hence the name) which flies into the bowl of the toilet during a furious diarhea-type shit. Also, the residual wet the clings to one's leg and drawers when one sharts (shits one's pants).
"Holy fuck that Indian food was great. Only problem is my stomach back there. i think i got a little spat on the chief (dick)."
Redcap
Traditionally, the most evil of all goblins whose cap is dyed red with the blood of his human victims. In recent times, this is a term to define the fugliest of all women. She will take domain in your home and not let you hang out with your friends.