The endeavour to lean out of one’s car window whilst driving on a road with at least two lanes and with willy unsheathed to insert said willy into the open window of other cars travelling in the same direction (this latter part is important lest one expects to receive a brutal dicklashing).
‘Deftly, Turpin lowered himself to Black Bess’s side, her muscles writhing powerfully under his soles as she galloped as a shadow in the fog, drawing ever closer to the magistrate’s coach. With one hand still clinging to his steed, he lowered his britches in preparation for the impending Birmingham Saddleshank.
The magistrate could hear the crescendo of galloping behind him rising with his nervous heartbeat, until thrust through his window was the most foul of phalluses accompanied by the scream of his coachman and the growl of Hell’s own brimstone: “Magistrate, your money or your wig all pissed on.”’ – Black Bess; or, The Knight of the Road by William Harrison Ainsworth
The magistrate could hear the crescendo of galloping behind him rising with his nervous heartbeat, until thrust through his window was the most foul of phalluses accompanied by the scream of his coachman and the growl of Hell’s own brimstone: “Magistrate, your money or your wig all pissed on.”’ – Black Bess; or, The Knight of the Road by William Harrison Ainsworth
by 535 October 09, 2012
The process by which, over the course of several years, a distinguished gentleman collects a substantial amount of knobcheese and forms it into a disc weighing several pounds. This must then be entered as the rolling cheese in the Gloucestershire cheese rolling competition, which is particularly difficult considering that it has been made by the same woman since 1988. To overcome this, one may either stealthily switch the cow-cheese with the man-cheese at any point in the process or convince the woman by sob story that the cheese was made by your dying mother who only ever wanted to see it rolled downhill or something, preferably using a starved puppy as a visual aid. Unbeknownst to anyone involved, however, one will have carved a hole in the cheese just wider than the diameter of your dick, hidden under the paper ribbons that wrap it. This is because you will, at the point it is thrown down hill, burst out from the crowds at the bottom and attempt to catch it on your dick, which should burst through the ribbons like a triumphant Olympic athlete, before you are then crushed by the waves of tumbling shire-folk.
‘A great race this year in which everyone died and finally someone got his dick out’ – The Gloucester Citizen
‘The Gloucestershire Ringtoss has finally been completed. The process has begun. Humankind’s dusk approacheth.’ – Mysterious man in cloak from The Royal Society of Go Away
‘The Gloucestershire Ringtoss has finally been completed. The process has begun. Humankind’s dusk approacheth.’ – Mysterious man in cloak from The Royal Society of Go Away
by 535 January 28, 2012
The process by which a man, having stimulated himself to a degree great enough to have obtained a boner, just at the point that his beloved crouches down to suckle upon his manhood, spins around so that his phallous collides verily with her cheek and allows him to fart on her face.
Deidre: What's that black about, Elizabeth?
Elizabeth: A Whirling Dervish from Reginald.
Deidre: Oh, Is that why your face smells?
Elizabeth: No.
Elizabeth: A Whirling Dervish from Reginald.
Deidre: Oh, Is that why your face smells?
Elizabeth: No.
by 535 February 21, 2011