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Definitions by 3 finger willie

Backseat investor 

Someone who is a passive investor, who can keep their mouth shut
Here you go again can’t keep your mouth shut your backseat investor

anal sputum 

The repulsive liquid that looks like sheets of paper but is actually partially solid feces in the toilet when you have diarrhea and it floats on top of the water and smells like dead mice
You should see the anal sputum that came out of me
anal sputum by 3 Finger Willie October 31, 2013