"the book". a fictional work instructing people to be biased idiots so they can get into heaven and worship god for all eternity. though written by *ignorant, sexist, mentally unstable* men, the bible simultaneously acts as proof of god's existence and a testament of his will. the bible repeatedly plagiarizes pagan myths and contradicts itself, but despite all this, millions of people all over the earth hang to its every word (even the contradictory ones).
jesus loves you!!! christianity is the only right religion, i will pray for you. god hates homosexuality, but loves homosexuals, because to him all people are equal, but he hates the sin of homosexuality! praise jesus! lucifer is evil, he will try to lead you to evil, but you must stay strong and find jesus!hallelujah!
by never_me May 1, 2005
you people are so fucking smart aren't you? "The Bible is God's true and spoken word. Jesus Rawks!" Don't you understand it's not jeebus that is gonna save you, or buddha or fucking alaaaaaah either. Nothing is going to prevent the people of this world from killing each other. it's never going to stop. accept it, move on. figure out new and better ways to do it. but please for the love of humanity stop fucking looking for some cosmic being to come down and explain away gay people and muslims and all the other shit that you religious twats are too retarded to understand. Stop looking for ALMIGHTY GOD to come fix all the world's problems. Because you know what? It doesn't fucking matter if God exists or not. Hurricanes still blow down cities, tsunamis still tear the assholes out of island nations, oil companies and insurance agencies are gonna keep taking all our money and we aren't gonna do shit about it as long as we keep asking for Pat "Take em Down" Robertson to talk to GAWD for us!! Wake up, morons. Think for yourselves. Quit buying into this cultural bullshit that your parents are feeding you. You can't prove shit. Oh, and don't talk to me about "faith" okay. because faith is a great thing, no one can deny that. but you could have faith in my almighty ballsack and you'd do just as well. it's about US not GOD. that is all.
The bible says it is "God's word," and so does the koran and countless other books. So all you have to do is write something down, sign it," -God", and in 2000 years all your moron descendants will read it and say "See how it says '-God' at the end. No human being could have written this. It must really be God talking to us." Oh yeah, they will. Try it.
by pdad September 25, 2005
by Godismybitchlacky July 11, 2008
by Prudense August 13, 2006
by LuciferAKAZeke September 7, 2005
A fictional compilation of several stories about God, and his many, many slaves on the planet we like to call earth.
God: "Woop! I exist! Spread the word."
Jesus: "Aww, but Dad..."
God: "No buts, just DO IT!"
Jesus: "Fine. Whatever..."
And so it came to pass that Jesus did make up a whole load of shit just to please his old man, and thus the Bible was born. Amen.
Jesus: "Aww, but Dad..."
God: "No buts, just DO IT!"
Jesus: "Fine. Whatever..."
And so it came to pass that Jesus did make up a whole load of shit just to please his old man, and thus the Bible was born. Amen.
by catch22 October 3, 2007
the biggest work of fiction whose genre is fantasy.
Due to its content it is easily comparable to other books such as harry potter
Due to its content it is easily comparable to other books such as harry potter
hey, have you read the harry potter books?
no they don't interest me, the bible has more made up stuff that is clearly fictional and untrue.
no they don't interest me, the bible has more made up stuff that is clearly fictional and untrue.
by farran February 26, 2008