In sutures 

"In Sutures" Humor that is so convulsively, side-splittingly hilarious, that you crack up and fall apart from laughing so hard, and metaphorically speaking, you require remedial surgery.

The hyperbole of being "in stitches".

Jen: That stand up gig was an absolute crack-up.

Ange: Yeh...I'm in sutures 'cos I split my sides from laughing so much.

In sutures by Brohica July 27, 2010

suture self 

a term for removing one’s own stitches / also applies to stitching one’s own wounds, a less common occurrence than the removal of one's own sutures that were sown in by a healthcare professional

With no universal healthcare, you get a lot of suture self procedures taking place.

suture self by ΔиłĦ☼иצ ߀₡ʞ February 6, 2013

suture 

The process of joining two surfaces or edges together along a line by or as if by sewing.
The material, such as thread, gut, or wire, that is used in this procedure.
The line or stitch so formed.

a stitch made with a suture,
a strand or fiber used to sew parts of the living body, the act or process of sewing with sutures.

suture by [e-mail] February 1, 2006

sturesonn 

When you think you have frineds but no one likes you at all and hates you.

Alex came to school today and found out he was a sturesonn

sturesonn by theman69669 February 23, 2008

Suture self 

What a doctor shruggingly remarks when someone requests a different-from-the-standard-practice procedure for stitching up a wound, and said physician cannot see what difference said alternative method would make, but wants to accommodate the patient whenever possible.

"Suture self," said the surgeon, when I asked him to use cotton sewing-thread instead of synthetic-fiber floss.

Suture self by QuacksO August 16, 2019

Karma Suture 

1. Attempting to stitch up one's torn Karma, before it gets worse.

2. Making a repair to a damaged Karma.

I have been so bad lately, I need a Karma Suture.

Karma Suture by Pammie Cakes January 10, 2010