Candarian stalagmite 

A turd dilivered from a human anoose inside of a cave that stands proud and erect rising from the cave floor pointing towards the ceiling. The Candarian stalagmite has a remarkable resemblance to a regular stelagmite.

It is good fun to drop a Candarian stalagmite and have it discovered and examined by unsuspecting spelunkers.

Candarian stalagmite by Puppychup August 8, 2019

Horizontal stalactite 

Is the build up of semen on the rear divider of a desk. Overtime the dried semen forms a stalactite on the horizontal plane.

What is that under your desk Jimmy?
Oh that's just my horizontal stalactite Mum.

Horizontal stalactite by GDSS October 20, 2008

Stalagmite

A dried, almost rock-like piece of feces.

John was astonished to find a stalagmite in his attic.

Stalagmite by Lucky Is Sucky April 22, 2011

Stalagtits 

Long,thin tittys.

I took this bird home the other night and when she took her bra off I was confronted by the most tremendously long set of stalagtits that I have ever seen.I was gripped.

Stalagtits by stanny 29 August 9, 2008

Protein Stalactite 

n. refers to the mass of seminal fluid suspended from the gullet of a fellatio-performing sexual partner post ejaculation; may also refer to a drippy creampie.

When I was done with Harry's mom, she was left smiling, garnishing a protein stalactite.

Protein Stalactite by Captain Willie December 14, 2008

stalagshite

a fecal structure that forms in port-a-potties and out-houses from repeated defecation where feces deposits pile in a mound like formation that extends upward resembling geologic stalagmite formations formed in limestone caves extending upward from the cave floor.

Pete "Dude! Did you see the stalagshite in the backcountry out-house?!"

Nick "Oh my gosh, dude! The stalagshite was only inches away from touching my junk!"

stalagshite by joseman25 March 23, 2009

stalagmite

The act of ruining a joke, or being not funny. (To replace the awkward silence after someone kills a joke).

After Pat tried to add on to a joke with a dumb comment, instead leaving an awkward silence we said to him "Stalagmite". (Which indicates all are in consensus that he is done talking and should stop before he looks even more dumb)

stalagmite by The origional Pat May 14, 2006