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1.
The act of ruining a joke, or being not funny. (To replace the awkward silence after someone kills a joke).
After Pat tried to add on to a joke with a dumb comment, instead leaving an awkward silence we said to him "Stalagmite". (Which indicates all are in consensus that he is done talking and should stop before he looks even more dumb)
by The origional Pat May 04, 2006
 
2.
A dried, almost rock-like piece of feces.
John was astonished to find a stalagmite in his attic.
by Lucky Is Sucky April 04, 2011
 
3.
The act of being not funny
"After Pat made a dumb joke, we all told him that he was stalagmite"
by Michael Albert November 10, 2004
 
4.
when you take a dump and let it harden then stab someone with it
you be mean, I stalagmite you
by mr. 2cool November 04, 2011
 
5.
A protrusion that can be used in a number of ways. It is stiff, unchanging, and can endure excessive amounts of pressure. It can vary in length and girth, and it usually is very straight and points in an upwardly direction.
"She rode my stalagmite all night long. I didn't even have to move."
by Calihoya December 02, 2004