Stalagmite

A dried, almost rock-like piece of feces.

John was astonished to find a stalagmite in his attic.

Stalagmite by Lucky Is Sucky April 22, 2011

stalagmite

The act of ruining a joke, or being not funny. (To replace the awkward silence after someone kills a joke).

After Pat tried to add on to a joke with a dumb comment, instead leaving an awkward silence we said to him "Stalagmite". (Which indicates all are in consensus that he is done talking and should stop before he looks even more dumb)

stalagmite by The origional Pat May 14, 2006

Stalagmite

The act of being not funny

"After Pat made a dumb joke, we all told him that he was stalagmite"

Stalagmite by Michael Albert November 10, 2004

stalagmite

when you take a dump and let it harden then stab someone with it

you be mean, I stalagmite you

stalagmite by mr. 2cool November 4, 2011

stalagmite

A protrusion that can be used in a number of ways. It is stiff, unchanging, and can endure excessive amounts of pressure. It can vary in length and girth, and it usually is very straight and points in an upwardly direction.

"She rode my stalagmite all night long. I didn't even have to move."

stalagmite by Calihoya December 2, 2004

stalagmite pussy 

An excessively, bumpy or rigid vagina.

I tried to go down on her, but that bitch had a stalagmite pussy.

stalagmite pussy by Glenevere April 20, 2009

Stalagmite Licker 

An annoying little degenerate that drinks mineral water.

"Man I love mineral water."
"Shut the fuck up you stupid stalagmite licker."

Stalagmite Licker by Stalagmite Licker August 4, 2023