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Clatter-splatter 

The act of watching the Night King death scene whilst masturbating.
*watches last scene of season 8 episode 3 of Game of Thrones*
Guys I'm gonna need about 20 minutes alone to rewatch that and get in a quick clatter-splatter.

Splatten and Chatten 

When one is texting, facebooking, tweeting and/or responding to e-mails while sitting on the toilet.
I solved a lot of the world problems while I was splatten and chatten.
Splatten and Chatten by Hawtex February 10, 2015