Last night Liz gave me head for the first time. I scary movied all over her face and the floor.
gf: oh yeah, you like that baby
me: Yeah. Omg don't stop, don't- uh. oooh OOOOOOOOOOOOOH CraAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!
*eyes roll back into head and cumz so hard that he loses 30 pounds and blast her through the roof into space.
Astronaut: Commander did you just seethat?!