A woman far too old to be a cougar, who even though she no longer has IT, continues to pile on makeup and chase much younger men. Martha Raye was an example of a true saber-toothed tiger when she scored that gay guy before dying.
Dude, I banged a saber-toothed tiger this weekend. She popped her teeth out, blew me and then gave me some milk and cookies after we finished up in the sack.
The only logical explanation for the instant and sudden need to scratch your balls that you can explain to women.
"I couldn't help it, honey! I had to scratch! It was the Saber-Toothed Crotch Crickets! You know, tiny little buggers with these giant teeth that just randomly sink their teeth into my sack! Hafta itch that!"