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pastede on 

Origins: the infamous Crystalwank of FandomWank.

A popular internet catchphrase used to sarcastically denote obvious falseness or lying.

The full original quote, "MY HED IS PASTED ON YAY", comes from the above FandomWank thread wherein a LiveJournal user named Crystal attempted to convince her readers that she was real-life friends with a cast member of the Lord of the Rings films by making very obvious photo-manipulations of the actors in various poses in her room. These photos were quite clearly pictures of the actor's heads transposed onto different bodies.

The thread became monstrous in a very short time, eventually receiving over 13,000 comments. In the course of the thread, a commenter remarked that one of Crystal's photos wore a look of 'OmG my head iz PASTEDE ON YAY!!1111!!' The remark quickly spread across the Internet, where it was adopted and adapted. This FandomWank thread, especially the "pastede on" comment, is considered something of a Holy Grail of internet slang.

See also pastede, my hed is pastede on, yay.
Since the initial wank, anything may be regarded as "pastede on yay". A bad writer can be accused of having his/her spelling (or grammar, or ideas) "pastede on yay!" A fruity drink that does not taste particularly fruity might be said to have its "fruitiness pastede on yay!"
pastede on by LadySphinx November 26, 2004
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keep me posted 

A phrase used to tell someone to keep them informed about what happens in the meantime. Kinda like asking to keep you updated of all the things that happen in your absence.
My best friend (in online chat): "Dude, I'm at the valley now for the fight with that dude . Gonna kill that mofo here who's been threatening me since last month. I'll beat the crap out of him here tonight.

Me: "Alright, keep me posted on what happens! Also, let me know if I shall bring a wheelchair to take you back from the valley after your fight.

My best friend: "Fuck you, man!"

psuedostratifiedcolumnarepithelium 

A scientific term for the human throat.
I'm sorry to break it to you but you have an infection in your psuedostratifiedcolumnarepithelium ...... yeah i'm just kidding with you, your fine.

straight posted

To be gone, high as fuck, drunk as fuck, or both at the same time ;)
Dude jimmy was straight posted at Julia's turn up last night!
straight posted by KingOfTurnUps January 7, 2014

Roasted, Toasted, Packaged up, and Posted 

When you roast someone and they have no comebacks at all and just standing there, absorbing the screams from the crowd as the roastee, makes a square in the air with his hands, and waves a check in the air.
1: You're ugly!
2: That sounds like a mouthful, i'm sure you used that when you were choking on your dads dick.
Crowd: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH
an example of someone being Roasted, Toasted, Packaged up, and Posted.

Me: please help me i'm bored and made a shitty meme...

bro you just posted cringe

now you're going to lose subscribers
Bro you just posted cringe, now you're going to lose subscribers.

psuedophile

A psuedophile is a person who constantly tells self-flattering lies to his friends in a pathetic attempt to make them think more of him.
Matthew: "A biker put a gun to my head because I'm higher up on the ladder than he is. Then I smoked 15 cones, drunk 2 cartons of Jacks then drove home. On the way I had to stop and beat up twelve abbos with one hand, the bong was in my other. Then I picked up 10 smoking hot drunk girls, banged them all and dropped them home, apologizing to their boyfriends on the way coz I'm a good guy. The cops pulled me over and breathalized me on the freeway but i told them I only lived around the corner and they let me off for the third time in a week. I have a supermodel girlfriend who I got pregnant but you guys can't meet her or see her. Ever. Now I'm an ice dealer."

Matthew is a psuedophile.
psuedophile by Grazer1989 May 15, 2009