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1.
The condition of believing you're being stalked/hunted/spied on by someone. These stalkers ALWAYS come into one of 4 categories:

1) The Corporation: e.g. Microsoft
2) The Government: e.g. The CIA
3) Independant Stalkers: e.g. Me
4) Aliens: e.g. erm.. Coneheads?

It can also mean that you think everyone in general is against you, or that your friends are talking about/plotting against you behind your back.
"Just because I'm paranoid doesn't mean that they're not out to get me!!"
by John Q Moron December 07, 2003
506 153
 
2.
Descriptive Noun. Fourth part of a four-part sequence which explains all types of individuals.
An OPTIMIST is a person who doesn't have all the facts.
A PESSIMIST is an optimist who does have all the facts.
A CYNIC is a pessimist who has seen the facts in action.
A PARANOID is a cynic who has FINALLY realized that the facts are after him.
Petra the Paranoid is worried that her boyfriend, Peter the Priapic, is going to cheat on her. Oh, she's just crazy and irrational. The only other people who believe her nutty fear are the Nancy Nurse and Debbie Doctor, who have just finished the report which confirms that Petra has an STD.
by seeker6079 October 26, 2005
220 94
 
3.
1)Someone who believes they are being hunted, esp. by everyone.
2)A Black Sabbath album that kicks major ass.
3)A song on said Black Sabbath ablum that kicks major ass.
1)You're always paranoid when you're on acid.
2)I'm gonna listen to 'Paranoid'.
3)You always headbang during 'Paranoid' when you're on pot.
by Psycho Bob September 07, 2003
168 95
 
4.
An illogical fear or suspicion of people, companies or organizations being consciously against you, and the belief that they are constantly trying to "get" you.
"See those people talking over there? There's no other way than that they're spreading rumors about me."

"Oh stop being paranoid, they're just talking."
by Fluid March 07, 2004
118 56
 
5.
your state of mind when you hear the door bell ring and you suspect the police are outside but it's a girl scout trying to sell some fucking girl scout cookies
*Door Bell Ring*
Paranoid Person: Oh shit. I can hear the cops outside. *flushes eighth of weed down the toilet* *opens door*
Girl Scout: You wanna buy some Girl Scout cookies?
Paranoid Person: FML
by wittyname January 16, 2010
77 24
 
6.
When you feel like you have millions of stalkers, when you think the whole world is talking about you , and you think everyone hates you. Often causes girls to take hours on hair and make up just to end up washing it all off and doing something way more simple just because she thinks people will think negative about her. People who are paranoid often look over theyre shoulders expecting to find someone or something behind them, waiting to attack, when nothing is there.
I was so paranoid last night i thought gnomes came in and stole my toilet paper. so i hid underneathe a blanket on my couch with a candle and a bag of cheetohs, in the fetal posistion.
by ohh dang, lets bang! April 13, 2008
64 21
 
7.
The perpetual motion act of not knowing what the hell is going on around you and thinking that you do. Usually resulting in flushing of a perfectly good stash down the toilet to awaiting fish, and then getting busted the day you decide not too!
Just because you're not paranoid doesn't mean that they are not after you.
by LayItOnYou March 17, 2007
96 55