wittyname's definitions

fucking

Mixing "fucking" into any phrase is like mixing alcohol with sleeping pills. It makes the effects way fucking stronger.

Kid 1: My fucking rat died
Kid 2: OMG!#@$%&!! Im so fucking sorry!
Kid 3: Good thing. This world needs less fucking rats
Kid 4: Jeeze Lou-eezz, Kid 3, can't you have some fucking compassion?
Kid 3: no

by wittyname January 16, 2010

alcohol

My only friend.

alcohol- alcohol. when im fucked up i need some ass. booty ass. fuck the surgeon general's warning, i ain't got shit to do in the morning!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SAILOR JERRY'S ALL THE WAY MOTHERFUCKERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

by wittyname January 18, 2010

role model

as a small child: the firefighter that came to your school and showed you the fire truck
as a middle schooler: the shitty celebrity or artist that your classmates talk about on a daily basis
as a high schooler: your older sibling who gets plastered daily in college and refuses to acknowledge social norms

Teacher: Okay, class, who is your role model? *big fake smile*
MiddleSchoolKid 1: Your Mom.
MiddleSchoolKid 2: Your Mom jokes aren't funny anymore. that was so 2007. *flicks back hair in bitchiest possible way*
MiddleSchoolKid 1: *wipes tear off cheak* okay, my role model is Lindsey Lohan
MiddleSchoolKid 2: coke whore

by wittyname January 16, 2010

clean

the state you are in when you are being drug tested

stoner 1: hey man do you wanna smoke these dank ass buds with me?
stoner 2: man, i wish i could, but im clean. my parents drug test me.

by wittyname January 16, 2010

Masturbate

The act that you will perform after reading this page of definitions.

Bob was horny, and being the Urban Dictionary-holic that he is, he looked up masturbate and every other word with the slightest sexual connotation on Urban Dictionary. He died of starvation.

by wittyname January 16, 2010

drunk

The state you're in when you won't give two shits about what you say. You will be fucking uninhibited and won't give a shit what anyone thinks. You will be happy and motherfucking confident. You will be sippin dranks and feeling like a baller. Euphoria on a scale of 1 to 10: a motherfuckign 10................
So give it up to alcohol, bitches. this shit is legit, and deserves fucking respect, (that bottle of sailor jerrys was fucking good by the way)
Nigger. if you dont like alcohol, you can just kill yourself cause your iq is in the negatives!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Some kid was drunk and decided to publish his definition to UrbanDictionary just for the fuck of it.
So go ahead, give me the thumbs up or thumbs down. I could care less

by wittyname January 16, 2010

paranoid

your state of mind when you hear the door bell ring and you suspect the police are outside but it's a girl scout trying to sell some fucking girl scout cookies

*Door Bell Ring*
Paranoid Person: Oh shit. I can hear the cops outside. *flushes eighth of weed down the toilet* *opens door*
Girl Scout: You wanna buy some Girl Scout cookies?
Paranoid Person: FML

by wittyname January 16, 2010