wittyname's definitions

clean

the state you are in when you are being drug tested

stoner 1: hey man do you wanna smoke these dank ass buds with me?
stoner 2: man, i wish i could, but im clean. my parents drug test me.

by wittyname January 16, 2010

role model

as a small child: the firefighter that came to your school and showed you the fire truck
as a middle schooler: the shitty celebrity or artist that your classmates talk about on a daily basis
as a high schooler: your older sibling who gets plastered daily in college and refuses to acknowledge social norms

Teacher: Okay, class, who is your role model? *big fake smile*
MiddleSchoolKid 1: Your Mom.
MiddleSchoolKid 2: Your Mom jokes aren't funny anymore. that was so 2007. *flicks back hair in bitchiest possible way*
MiddleSchoolKid 1: *wipes tear off cheak* okay, my role model is Lindsey Lohan
MiddleSchoolKid 2: coke whore

by wittyname January 16, 2010

Masturbate

The act that you will perform after reading this page of definitions.

Bob was horny, and being the Urban Dictionary-holic that he is, he looked up masturbate and every other word with the slightest sexual connotation on Urban Dictionary. He died of starvation.

by wittyname January 16, 2010

Alcohol

Confidence in a bottle.

Bryan drank a bottle of Sailor Jerry's (Rum which contains alcohol in case you are a dumb motherfucker) and was motherfucking confident and comfortable with his own personality (the opposite of his usual self).

by wittyname January 19, 2010

fucking

Mixing "fucking" into any phrase is like mixing alcohol with sleeping pills. It makes the effects way fucking stronger.

Kid 1: My fucking rat died
Kid 2: OMG!#@$%&!! Im so fucking sorry!
Kid 3: Good thing. This world needs less fucking rats
Kid 4: Jeeze Lou-eezz, Kid 3, can't you have some fucking compassion?
Kid 3: no

by wittyname January 16, 2010

failing at life

what your facebook status would say if it was representative of what you are currently doing

Sally is failing at life.

315 Likes.

(Sally has 315 friends on facebook)

by wittyname January 16, 2010

alcohol

My only friend.

alcohol- alcohol. when im fucked up i need some ass. booty ass. fuck the surgeon general's warning, i ain't got shit to do in the morning!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SAILOR JERRY'S ALL THE WAY MOTHERFUCKERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

by wittyname January 18, 2010