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pulling the trigger on the purple headed yogurt gun

To masturbate onesself to and emission, usually of great and satisfying proportions.

masturbate, jerk off, rub one out, ejaculate, beat off
I saw this hot girl, but my mother was with me, so when I got home, I went to my room and blasted off by pulling the trigger on the purple headed yogurt gun.

purped on 

To get purped on is to get yelled at primarily by a parent or someone of higher authority

DMV slang
M:you went home high last night, did u get purped on?
N: No, nobody noticed
purped on by Slimshady420blazeit October 2, 2018

Squirting on the Pups 

The act in which one is taking a shit, but said shit comes out too fast/early and it goes all over ones ballsack.
Jb: Dude, I took a shit last night and it went all over my balls.

Adam: Dude! You were squirting on the pups!

Swinging on the purple chandelier 

Masturbating Taking matter into your own two hands ETC
Bob: Um, I wouldn't go into your apartment
Joe: Why not
Bob: Your roommate's in the living room
Joe: Of course he is, he's my roommate
Bob: Um, swinging on the purple chandelier
Joe: ...

.0.I Do Not Have The Color Blue Purple Blue On Me My Person I.0.

.0.I Do Not Have The Color Blue Purple Blue On Me My Person I.0.
.0.I Do Not Have The Color Blue Purple Blue On Me My Person I.0.

the five finger knuckle shuffle on the one-eyed, blue-veined, purple-headed, custard-chucking, salty yogurt slinger.

Yeah, people actually do use this term, but they get it wrong mostlys.
The five finger, knu... aaawwww, fuck it. I whacked off.