Cunt bitch nigga
Matthew is a cunt bitch nigg
by Maxsedley May 06, 2015
Matthew is the charming lad that would be the one to be crying out his own name during sex. He has six greasy sausage toes on his middle foot and uses his sausage toes to strum his crusty guitar. he would also be the one to excuse, bless himself, and announce he is welcome after sneezing. Matthews often like to write poems and make juicy excruciating noises when getting out of bed in the mornings. They normally have a fetish for girls that have hairy inner-ears. Matthews are extremely funny and will always answer a question or statement with another question. They also tend to use the words sketchy, gnarley, juicy, moist, crevice, and bruh, when thirsty for the booty.
Matthew: *sneezes* Excuse me, Bless me, I'm welcome.
by SheerSteez November 16, 2014
A regular average Californian male. Laid back and chill, this mildly common creature can often appear high to those who don't know otherwise. Though kind and always available, this species is highly deflective. Usually, Matthews only share their true feelings with a soul mate. Very often, these creatures will also become particularly attached to certain words. The words vary greatly, ranging from sexual to biscuits to Britney Spears. Though mostly comprised of these positive features, Matthews can develop extremely douchebag-like tendencies, often resulting in womanizing. After extended periods of this behavior, Matthews will often go into a state of depression and likely distance themselves from loved ones. These states of depression can cause substance abuse, alcoholism, and cutting in extreme cases. Also, a Matthews trust is difficult to gain and very easy to lose, so caution is advised. Despite all of these major flaws, Matthews remain fun and spontaneous to be around (provided they trust you), and they will always lend a helping hand.
"My friend ditched his girlfriend to drive me to my cousin's funeral today."
"Wow. He's a total Matthew."

"Oh my gosh. My brother was talking about how he'd run out of virgin ass at his school today."
"Your brother is such a jerky Matthew."

"I really like this guy, but he won't open up to me."
"He's a Matthew. It just takes time."
by Darth Biscuit February 01, 2013
Really cute, very sweet guy. He's the best guy friend a girl could ask for! He listens to your constant complaints, never judges you, is okay with being weird with you, and is just about perfect. He would be an ideal boyfriend! When he likes a girl, he leaves her cute notes and thoughtful presents. The only bad thing about Matthew is that it's way too easy to fall in love with him. <3
Girl 1: Oh my gosh, I just got Matthew's number!! He seems like he might like me!

Girl 2: Awesome! Keep me posted!

Next Week:

Girl 1: I think I'm in love... :(

Girl 2: Why is that bad??

Girl 1: He likes another girl! I thought he actually liked me. I guess he was just being sweet. *sigh*
by HaiImAwkward January 20, 2013
A super hot guy, who is usually into music, reggae, plays guitar, ukelele, drums, and sometimes piano. Can sing really well. Really sweet, kind caring, smart, cute, funny. Usually meets their soulmate on Omegle and they make really good couples with girls named Nadia.
"Wow, look at that guy, he looks like a Matthew."
by ilikefoodandunicorns September 25, 2011
Greek for eternal sex god. Hes sexy athletic hot and he gets all the girls. anyone that holds this name has a great level of skill and ability to perform sexual acts. Hes that one guy who can catch a shoe on his foot even though his foot is 2 sizes bigger.

What nobody knows about Matthew is that hes rescues Baby Pandas from bamboo fires and intercepting missiles over war torn countries with a frisbee. He secretly is a superhero at night. He has a nice toothbrush. Hes so sexy he gets laid everynight.
Girl 1: OMG I want to make love to Matthew

Girl 2: Well u can't

Girl 1: y not
Girl 2: im his wife and I make love ro him everynight
Girl 1: ur so lucky😔
Girl 2: IKR😏
by miniman9532 May 23, 2014
Matthew is a giant teddy bear. He's 6'3" and totes huggable. He has hair you just want to play in and cheeks you can't stop pinching. He's super hilarious and friendly. He plays saxophone and bums around on league of legends all day. He wears glasses and he used to have braces. He's liked a lot of girls and none of them are the girl who's sooooo infatuated with him. He always dates girls that seem right for him but never work out. He's a friend-zoner and a friend-zonee. But I guess everyone is. His most common nickname is Matt. Matthew is sometimes really blind to the obvious and very down to earth. He's a total dork and really likeable and that's it I guess.
Khamar ~ Hey noob, 420 blaze it
Matthew ~ Lol, you're so stupid.

Felicia ~ Matt, can i have a hug?
Matthew ~ No, dork. *hugs her anyways*
by Coolie be coolin'! February 03, 2014

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