A mentally handicapped person, who is overly macho, yet doesn't have the balls to take on ANY of his enemies, or live dangerously!!!!
Me: Hey Matthew, step on the gas and stop picking fights with drivers on the road while driving 25 mph.


Me: Stop talking about it, grow a pair, and do it already!!!!

Matthew: UR GONNA GET IT!!!!!!.......eventually *under his breath*
by Bri-A-Lou August 25, 2012
A dumbass, who is really annoying, and almost is a total douche bag.
Girl 1: Stop being such a Matthew.
Boy 1: You did not just go there.
by koolkatzzz June 27, 2012
A retard who likes to steal my animal crackers. He does not like jesus at all. He steals my locker code and opens my locker when he wants to. In total he is a poop.
Girl one: Matthew ERASED JESUS OFF THE BORED!?!?
Girl two: LETS SHOE HIM!!!
by retarded ninja November 28, 2011
Creep; sleazy guy.
A Matthew is any guy who makes unwanted advances on a girl and is, for the most part, a creeper.

This can be broadened to include any guy who is generally weird and who you would not want invading your personal space.
Girl 1: Were there any babes at that party last night?
Girl 2: Nah, they were all total Matthews.
by xxbellaxx June 12, 2011
dick head
O, there is Matthew, the dick head who no one likes.
by MatthewHater December 07, 2011
The biggest club penguin fan ever. Has collected everything and anything there is in club penguin. Usually gets sexually excited at the sight of a penguin. No one likes him in real life. Smells like pork chops.
Oh god, it's that Matthew again.
He smells like a Matthew.
That guy got a boner from playing club penguin. He is such a Matthew.
by pig on the smelly moon of cats August 28, 2011
A common garden variety of Grasshopper that only eats the leaves of a mexican cannabis plant. Often found in a secret digital reality fighting evil ogres with weapons which can only be described as n00b-erific.

Served with a side of pizza, this delicacy is best served "baked" and will fornicate on demand. Ofcourse only to be eaten by the mating female.

Spontaneous regeneration of the genitals is also an evolutionary strongpoint as chronic masterbation has always been a problem with the species.
Guy 1

"I was out in the yard and saw a Grasshopper that looked baked and was jerking onto a piece of pizza!!"

Guy 2

"Yeah thats Matthew.... What a stoner!"
by David Attenborough (the 42nd) March 08, 2010

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