The act of pacing the room while masturbating, often characterized by bumping into furniture the closer you get to climax. Usually done late at night by insomniacs and results in a high amount of random bruising.
"Every night at like 3am we can hear his floorboards squeaking as he walks around. He must be masturpacing."
When some resigns or retires from a job, they are on "eternity leave". This can also refer to someone who has passed away, especially someone who worked somewhere for a long time, retired/resigned, then passed away later.
Oh I'm sorry, you didn't know that Kelly is on eternity leave? She resigned and moved to Hawaii!
With regrets I would like to inform you that my boss is officially on eternity leave. I will never see or hear them again. Ever.