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4.
Low grade Marijuana that is stringy and inexplicably moist like someone sprinkled water on it.
Hey that bag of kelp you sold me didn't even get me high.
by jerkschicken June 28, 2010
 
1.
an undersea cabbage.
i swam amongst kelp in the sea.
by eug [the almighty kelp] February 10, 2004
 
2.
A guy who is whipped, and sucks up to you just to get some.
Also who uses excessive smiley faces, and when he wants to hang out claims he's busy and will "stop by."
Guy: Yeah girl I love chick flicks, we can watch them whenever :) :) :)
Girl: You are seriously such a kelp.
by madiara February 08, 2010
 
3.
Used in place of cool, chill, ok, etc.

Does 6:30 sound good to meet up?
Yah, kelp.
by B Fair May 11, 2008
 
5.
A conversation made up entirely of dead birds...
Joe: That movie was amazing!

Sam: Sure, if you've got a map of it.

Joe: But the kelp is really green this year.

Sam: I like barbecue.

...and the conversation continues like this until someone screams or the world explodes.
by Jack the fridge monkey July 05, 2010
 
6.
Annoying troll which lives underground,preferably it's mother's basement.Where it can spew it's hatred upon all via the internet to feel good about it's self.Can be found licking the floors of peep show booths. Has the mentality of a 12 y/o boy, as well as size and genitalia,if at all.Anything that can be said to a kelp will be twisted in such a way to make itself seem better than everyone.
Guy 1. I have a nice car. kelp. you're a fag, and you live in your mother's basement. Guy 2. My girlfriends hot! kelp. She's a bitch! I only go out with hot chick's, that's all I ever get, they all love me , because I'm such a stud, they all get in line for me!etc., ad nauseum.
by sunshine March 24, 2005
 
7.
Pudgy little asshole who mocks others in chatrooms, to feel good about their own "shortcomings".
"All that jerk does is make fun of everyone in the chatroom, he's a real kelp".
by I.M. Noone March 20, 2005