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Mikhail Kalashnikov 

The Soviet regimes had a manic need to display the country’s excellence to the world and especially for their own sovoks, whether the reason was the Slavic inferiority complex or whatever, for the civilized world their efforts were tragicomical, in reality it was a mere developing country with a nuclear weapon (due to the help of Western commies) and today's successor, Putinstan is basically unchanged with the same mindset.

"If you tell a lie big enough and keep repeating it, people will eventually come to believe it."
Mikhail Kalashnikov also began to believe in this Soviet myth about himself as a creator of the AK 47, the quote is allegedly from Joseph Goebbels, the Minister of Propaganda in the Third Reich.

Immediately after the war, the Soviets began hunting experts in various fields from Germany for forced labor into the Soviet Union, among these thousands was also a weapon designer Hugo Schmeisser and his 15-member team and 500 other German gunsmiths, metallurgists and scientists. HS had developed the world's first usable assault rifle, the Strumgevehr 44. Kalashnikov denied having met Schmeisser ever (in the town of Izhmash), but at least once in a weak moment in an interview in 2009 he said he had "collaborated" with him - this is the good ol' Homo Sovieticus' hero-making method; talents develop a product, but the glory goes to the own peasant. Schmeisser was allowed to return to the "liberated" part of Germany in 1952 only to die the following year.
When the pompous Mikhail Kalashnikov statue was unveiled in Moscow 2017, at the same time, in a way, the real designer of the AK 47 was also unveiled, but only for a moment... The sculptor had blundered by depicting Schmeisser's designed StG 44 and its parts on the pedestal of the statue - an angle grinder was found and soon this embarrassing reminder of honest historiography was removed.
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Ash Kaash 

A Glizzy Goddess who has astronomically exceptional fellatio skills. A Throat Goat who has sucking abilities tantamount to that of a Dyson Hoover, fellatio that most can only dream of. Ash Kaash is a stupendously skilled individual in the profound art of fellatio. She can pull off the triple decker dick plunger cock hoover double handed head swirler saliva slurping soul sucking 5000 special move combo with relative ease. Skills that are attained by a significantly minimalist margin of individuals, guaranteed to make any heterosexual Homo Sapien Male ejaculate with 8 nanoseconds of application.

To sum it all up in one sentence. If she can do it like Ash Kaash, she’s certified wifey material.

Ash Kaash Stats:
Looks: 10/10
Head Swirling: 10/10
Tongue movement: 15/10
Eye contact: 17/10
Seductiveness: 20/10

OVERALL: ∞/10

RANK: Throat Goat
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Ash Kaash by SDNonce1331 August 7, 2020
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