Verb, to Jonk. Effectively means to masturbate while engaged in the act of defecation.
It’s roots are the Scottish colloquial terms ‘jobby’ (defecate) and ‘wank’ (masturbate).
"Johnny's off to the toilet for a jonk... make sure he's locked the door"
by Gardineroso September 16, 2003
Top Definition
To Jonk. Posing for a photograph while presenting an intoxicated, unconscious person with great enthusiasm and fanfare. Good form and proper etiquette dictate that while the intoxicated party need not be known to the Jonker, the Jonkee should not be homeless or injured.

Not unlike planking, the practice is meant as a good-natured meme.
There were so many passed out tourists at Oktoberfest, I took pleasure in jonking all of them!
by jezzandmark September 08, 2011
To masturbate backwards with the wrong hand. For example, if you normally use your right hand to masturbate in the normal manner with your thumb towards the head of your penis and your palm facing you, when you Jonk or are Jonking you would use your left hand with your thumb towards your balls and the back of your hand facing you.
Can you believe Russ is Jonking off to animal porn again?
by ShinyBagel September 16, 2014
another word for the word 'joking'
if you get bored of just using the word 'joking', use jonking instead. it's funner and it makes people laugh.
"eww your shoelaces are hideous"
"only jonking, i love them"
by Mrs Ellie Kelly April 28, 2009
A delusional verve brought on by the realization of one's awesomeness
I am jonking, you are not that neato
by laddleladdle February 17, 2009
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