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53.
A published but then discarded Hobbit character from the Lord Of The Rings franchise, written by J R R Tolkien.

Jake was chosen first, over the character of Frodo Baggins, to be the carrier of the 'One Rind' an ancient strip of bacon rind forged long ago by the evil Jewish Necromancer "soups-on Goldstein".

Jake Nolan was quested to take the 'One Rind' to the cracks of 'Mount Pig Scrotum' where he was to cast it into the fiery sperm from once it came. No pun intended.

But alas Tolkien's first print was said to be "Far too Jewish for the public of it's time" and was unfortunately canned by the publishing company before it reached wide scale publication.

Only a few copy's survive of Tolkien's unread masterpiece for telling the heroic adventure of the debatable best protagonist that literature has never heard about, Jake.
Carlos - "Damn Jim I'm covered in pig sperm"

Jim - "Just like the One Rind after Jake threw it into Mount Pig Scrotum?"

Carlos - "Yeah exactly"
by CatBelly January 10, 2013
 
1.
an amazing guy that is really funny and really adorable that you cant help but love .
wow, i really want a jake (:
by kaylan March 13, 2008
 
2.
A extremely long penis of at least fourteen inches.
She told me she wanted it, so I just whipped out Jake and waxed dat azz!
by Knowledge Doctor May 05, 2008
 
3.
Jake is the cutest boy you'll ever meet, or look at, he has great taste in music and has the most amazing hair ever, he's the best friend you'll never meet, he is loveable and caring, if somethings wrong he'll try to make everything better
I love you Jake <3
That boy is so cute. . .

Well he should be, he's a Jake.
by Breathe Carolina April 27, 2009
 
4.
A super hot, funny, compassionate, sweet, adorable guy (MAN). He always has a hot girlfriend and is really strong. His smile is contagious.
hot chick #1: I would kill myself if only I could see Jake's large, gigantic, masculine penis once before I died.

hot chick #2-200988340983409384098304983: YES!!! WE ALL WOULD!
by DUde 1093u04984 April 21, 2008
 
5.
the police.
we was riden down the street and the jakes pulled us over.
by xtended klip aka lil logan August 15, 2002
 
6.
a being of extreme sexual nature. often refered to as a scientific breakthrough because no one can stare at him longer that 2 seconds without craping their pants on a count of his astonishing beauty.
"i dare you to stare at jake for 3 seconds"
"no problem!"
"1....2.... GOD DAMNIT!!!!"
by manbearpig69 April 12, 2008
 
7.
(N.) The most amazing guy anyone will ever meet. He's caring, sweet, compassionate, stunning, trustworthy, breathtaking, and the only guy that can completely sweep a girl off her feet. The one boy on the planet that knows how to treat a girl right and keep her smiling twenty four hours a day, three hundred sixty-five days a year. He's perfect from head to toe and there's no combination of words that could actually express how incredible he is. I love you baby<3
My boyfriend's name is Jake and he is the love of my life. There's no one that could ever replace him or love me the way he does.
by chanel saiid November 14, 2009