Sharing the same family as methamphetamine and other highly addictive drugs, internetamine acts by increasing levels of norepinephrine, serotonin, and dopamine in the brain while at the same time drastically reducing physical activity in the user. Commonly found in every American household and spreading throughout the world at an alarming rate.
SomethingPresident Push hears rumors on. It is suspected that these internets are hidden from the rest of the world, cause we can only find one so far.
The term, Internets, is used only when referring to the uber-secret internet used only by Government and Bush cronies, thus plural.
Dear Reader, the internet you are now on is not the secondary one but the primary one invented by Al Gore. You are on the internet versus the internets.