Hello there. I have a disease. I suffer from IMPERFLICTION. Every day I wake up worrying myself stupid(er) that im horribly attractive and that everyone likes me. I do so want to look butt fugly like everyone else. I've
done everything to try and counter this terrible illness e.g. mercilessly sandpapered my ricky for hours, pressed red-hot
steam irons onto it, immersed it in basins of sulphuric
acid, but to no avail. I'm still hideously attractive - ohhhh pauvre
moi, pauvre moi *sob...sob*