if if was a fifth 

means "what if" things were different, how would it be if things changed.
Coined by Bay Area rappers like Mistah F.A.B. and E-40
if it was no guns most of yall would be punks
its the truth, think about it playa

"If if was a fifth then we'd all be drunk. If it was no guns most of yall would be punks. If this was a class most of yall would flunk. If if was fifth then we'd all be drunk."-Mistah F.A.B.
"if if was a 5th then i'd be diggin in yo girl instead of lookin at her, if if was a 5th."-E-40

if if was a fifth by staystrong keep ya head up December 24, 2006

if and only if 

A term used by mathematicians and logicians to indicate that something happens under very specific conditions. Often seen in proofs and theories.

1) The sum a geometric sequence is given by a/(1-r) if and only if |r| < 1.

2) In a bar:
dumped guy: "My girlfriend left me because I told her I loved her!"
other guy: "What a bitch!"
dumped guy: "No, it's all my fault, she's a mathematician, and I should have said 'I love you and only you'".

if and only if by berkanator September 6, 2005

If…were a person 

“If…were a person” is a catch all formulaic phrase designed to foreground the actions of a person as so definitive that their picture should be found under the definition of the word or phrase.

If used correctly the verb “to be” used in the sentence should be conjugated in the English Subjunctive tense because it presupposes a condition that does not actually exist preceded by the word: “if”.

Any number of colorful phrases can be used to complete this word formula. The only limit is the imagination of the observer.

Correct ways of using the formula: “If…were a person.”

If “cock blocking” were a person it would look like Joe Manchin vs.Biden’s attempts at legislation.

If “too soon” were a person it would look like Pete Davidson sending a selfie to Kanye West from Kim Kardashian’s bed after smashing.

If…were a person by Mind Hunter the Profiler September 28, 2022

“…if want something done, ask a woman” 

“…if want something done, ask a woman” — the entire quote is: “If you want something said ask a man; and if you want something done, ask a woman.”

This quote was used with great effect by Niki Haley during the 2023 Surrender Day Eve Republican debates.

The only woman on stage, she used this saying to attack the “Demi-masculine MAGA boys” surrounding her.

Haley herself attributed this saying to former British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher; and Harley’s delivery was flawless and absolutely castrating!

Seven men probably checked for their ball-sacks after leaving the stage they shared with Haley — except for the Miami Mascot, Ron DeSantis, who has already been neutered by Donald Trump

If you want something said ask a man…
“…if want something done, ask a woman”.

“…if want something done, ask a woman” by Mind Hunter the Profiler August 25, 2023

If you don’t have a seat at the table; you ARE the menu. 

If you don’t have a seat at the table; you ARE the menu — the American political reality that proves REPRESENTATION MATTERS!!!!

Another version of this saying is “If you don’t have a seat at the table; then you are on the menu.” Meaning: there are a lot of people who are going to get rights, privileges, and tax cuts at the expense of front line workers and people living on the margins.

This is most easily seen in areas where both gerrymandering and redistricting are used to disenfranchise minority voters.

Another area where this is seen is in the backlash against a woman’s right to choose. As of September 9th 2023, the young women coming of age in my family have fewer reproductive and healthcare options than did the generation that crossed into womanhood ahead of them.

Representation Matters and if you don’t have a seat at the table you are on the menu; indeed, if you don’t have a seat at the table you ARE the menu!

Representation matters: If you don’t have a seat at the table; you ARE the menu.

If you don’t have a seat at the table; you ARE the menu. by Mind Hunter the Profiler September 9, 2023

If you don't have a seat at the table; you are on the menu. 

If you don't have a seat at the table; you are on the menu. — A statement used in minority communities to reflect the reality that representation matters.

Vote for people who represent you and represent your interest because: If you don't have a seat at the table; you are on the menu.

If you don't have a seat at the table; you are on the menu. by Mind Hunter the Profiler September 4, 2023

If you are there then you’re down. 

If you’re there then you’re down — the unfortunate situation of being put in a position to have inadvertently chosen a side in a fight against opps leading to events where you will soon have to prove yourself to be deemed worthy of remaining among the living.

To say the least this is a life changing moment.

And a cliché.

A great example of this is being a passenger in a car as a drive resulting in fatalities has been perpetrated.

Another example is giving someone a ride who then spontaneously decides to rob a store or gas station; and, you are on camera as the driver and your partial tag is identified as the get away car.

All of the rules of silence and fidelity apply even though before the act you were just a “square” with fast friends.

In order to gain trust, one must commit escalating acts of criminality which makes one deeply implicated in the activities of the crew. This is how villains are born.

P.S. it was no accident that one is chosen to “accidentally” be in that situation. It was a draft, not an accident.

Any similarities to people living or dead is purely coincidental,

If you are there then you’re down. What happened just happened. Listen up, from here you take no walks. You have to stay on the reservation. You didn’t see nothing; and, you don’t know nothing. Anyway, you are our number one draft choice because we all came up together.

If you are there then you’re down. by Mind Hunter the Profiler December 5, 2022