What is an iPod? It's a little piece of metal that you plug headphones into and listen to music. I remember when I was seven and we had a device that achieved the same goal - a Discman. You can buy them nowadays for ... ohhh ... somewhere around the proximity of zero dollars. Discmans worked fine back in the day. Now that there is better technology, all of a sudden Discmans are worthless. But why? Discmans never got worse, technology got better. Worthless technology. The concept is to listen to music with no strings attached. Discmans accomplish this just fine.

The iPod is capable of holding 10,000 songs. Who the fucking hell needs that much? Of the 80 million+ iPod owners in the world, how many have maxed out the space? Only about 14. Merely fourteen people have successfully filled their iPod. And strangely enough, all of these kids were in the same room at the same time. It was at the annual GROTEFP (Geekiest Rejects on the Entire Fucking Planet) convention.

So you like iPods because they're smaller than CD players? That's reasonable, but how much is it worth to you to shave off a few precious inches? The iPod ends up being ten square inches smaller than the average portable CD player. That means a total of about three inches squared.

It's only three inches. That's tiny, and for three hundred dollars? Penis enlargment pills offer you an extra three inches, and they're only $40-$50. Now honestly, would you rather have three inches less of audio player or a Discman and huge dick? Size wouldn't even matter then because you could just hang the player from your enormous cock.

Now that the size issue is settled, perhaps a Discman isn't the answer because you require more than 3 seconds of anti-skip. Oh, wait! Discmans nowadays don't skip! Ever. That can't be what makes up for the drastic difference in money.

The iPod can hold 10,000 songs. The Discman uses CDs which hold usually up to 20 songs. Perhaps you don't want to carry 100 CDs everywhere you go. Oh, wait! Discmans play mp3s now! That's like 100 songs per CD! And unlike an iPod that maxes out at 10,000, Discmans have a removable source. So if we have 100 songs per CD and potentially infinite CDs, that's ... umm ... 100 infinity songs?

iPods have rechargable batteries, but so does Ace Hardware store. A bunch of new technology and impressive statistics really don't mean much. When it comes down to it, an iPod isn't that great. So why could it possibly cost so much more money than Discmans, mini disk players, and cheaper mp3 players?
By buying an iPod, you're buying into a trend. You are paying hundreds of dollars to be a part of the new big thing and attempting to buy approval. This means one of two things:

1) you don't already have a big thing,

or 2) you're stuck at the pre-adolescent stage of thinking having what someone want makes them your friend. Get a clue and get something else with your parent's Christmas fund.
by GaMeRuInEr December 20, 2006
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Thw world's smallest form of penis compensation.
Make sure you wear your white headphones everywhere you go while struting around in your tight pants and white belt while listening to the latest Hawthorne Heights song. Who cares if you have no class or taste, you're cool.
by Amall July 31, 2005
I bought one of these with my saved money. iPods are a waste of space on earth.

1. It holds more songs than anyone will ever own in their lives.
2. It says 12 hour battery life, but lasts for dick hours
3. Limited rechargeable battery - there are only a certain amount of charges you can use and then you have to pay a bazillion dollars for a new god damn battery.
4. Covering scratches easily, and if you don't want the screen to look like a cat was trying to find drugs in it, you have to buy a 50 dollar rubber case that yellows with time.
5. So overpriced for such a piece of shit. $420.00 CDN for it alone, and then a 3-year warranty which bumped it up to $508.00.

Seriously. Go die, Apple.
"Holy crap, you have an iPod! That's so cool! How many songs does it hold?"
"Five thousand."
"How many do you have on it?"
"About 200."
"Why the shit did you get a 20 GB then"
"........I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you"
by lindsay the gangster June 03, 2005
Everything wrong with western society contained within a small media player.
Person A: OMG, dude! I just bought an ipod!

Person B: What, on purpose?
by _Larry_ July 06, 2005
The Most Expensive way to listen to music.
If have two options. Pay $10,000 to download 10,000 mp3's for Ipod, or pay $14.95 and download 10,000 mp3. hmmmm
by Doug Hightower September 03, 2005
a topic on urbandictionary.com that has been used to discuss the pros and cons of ipods between viewers. Besides it is too expensive and the only reason it has more sales than any other is because people are stupid
read all of the other entries to see what i mean
by marko April 14, 2005
An Apple Computer branded mp3 player with a large capacity solid state hard drive.
Hey John... send me that new 1108 Thugz track so I can put it on my iPod.
by Mike Rundle April 29, 2003
the same thing as a Creative Zen in all respects except it looks a little cooler and costs twice as much.
-hey i got my 60 gig Ipod ofr just $500!

-you dumbass, I got my 60 gig zen for $250!
by green phantom February 26, 2005
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