I touch myself 

masturbation; erotic self-stimulation

The lyrics to the early 1990's pop-hit song "I Touch Myself" (by The Divinyls) left very little doubt what this phrase meant.

I love myself
I want you to love me
When I'm feelin' down
I want you above me
(...)
I don't want anybody else
When I think about you
I touch myself
(...)

I touch myself by Allen W July 30, 2008

I touch goats 

"I Touch Goats" started off years ago as a standing joke in the Subaru Impreza Driver's Club forums. When the switch to a new forum happened, they gained a fully functional Personal Messaging system with online alerts.

Because of that the need for topics or posts advising people they had a personal message became redundant. By use of the swear filter, common permutations of you have personal message type posts (you have PM etc) are automatically changed to "I touch goats"

The actual origin of "goat-talk" precedes this however, which it is said to have some sort of homosexual connotation, perhaps some sort of off-joke. Anyway, its just a bit of fun...

Spreading outward from the SIDC, this has become near commonplace in many regions throughout the UK, particularly Carterton, Oxfordshire where their connection to their goats is particularly strong.

Poster One: mate, 'I touch goats'

Poster Two: You do what?!?

Poster One: Erm, I meant you have a private message - what happened there?!?

Poster Two: Ha ha, you touch goats!

I touch goats by MattyWR1 May 10, 2011

i touch myself 

tingle tongle

oh well, I touch myself

i touch myself by anna15515551 January 16, 2024

Everything i touch turns to shit! 

A feeling of things not going your way. When you screw things up.

I've dated two guys in the last couple of months and they both rejected me in the end. Everything I touch turns to shit!

Everything i touch turns to shit! by Mr XXXXXXXXx May 2, 2012

can i touch that bodonkadonk fool? 

AHHHHHHHHHHHH

can I touch that bodonkadonk fool?
Human: "yo buddy, can I touch that bodonkadonk fool"?
Dog: "bark" "bite"
Human:"ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"

can i touch that bodonkadonk fool? by doughboi 2006 April 13, 2021

i-poop touch 

the older i-pod touch that you use only when you are in the toilet taking a poop.

i was sitting on the can using my i-poop touch reading the latest article from google.

i-poop touch by karaoke008 November 12, 2012

I'd touch it 

A term used by females to describe a guy that's hot ( or hot enough). It can be a compliment or merely a statement of adequacy. Similar to "I'd fuck him" but only implies an intent for second base. In fact, does not even have to necessarily apply to cock...but it usually does; the "nice girl"'s term for fuckability.

G1: I think Mike is so hot...
G2: Oh, yeah...I'd touch it.

G1: I think Peter is so cute and nice
G2: me, too, but I wouldn't touch it or anything.
G1: oh hells no.

I'd touch it by wordbird1223 November 1, 2007