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You have no idea 

A response that emphasizes the irony of the preceding statement.
Woman A: Your husband is unfaithful?
Woman B: You have no idea. (Husband has a gay lover)

Man A: Heard you a crazy weekend!
Man B: You have no idea. (Man B is a secret agent who used a party as a cover for a mission)
You have no idea by Urban LXX November 1, 2015

i squeezed out the baby, yet i have no idea who the father is 

"Have you heard the song I Squeezed Out The Baby, Yet I Have No Idea Who The Father Is?"
"IN COLLEGE I SPENT ALL MY DAYS-"

i have no idea whats going on right now 

from the show South Park...as said by Towlie
"I'm so stoned, I have no idea whats going on right now."

i have no idea whats going on right now 

the most common thing a real stoner can say.
dood, i have no idea whats going on right now, its totally awsome

I have no idea what you're talking about 

The most self-incriminating thing a suspect can say to a law enforcement official.

A suspect who has a substantial amount of evidence linking him/her to a crime will act completely oblivious to the matter.

Saying such a phrase will destroy a suspect's credibility since he/she is being non-cooperative and is obviously lying.
Officer: We've got your DNA on the dead body, your fingerprints are all over the murder weapon, and we have three credible eye-witnesses saying they saw you pull the trigger!

Suspect: I have no idea what you're talking about.

Officer: Thanks, that's all I needed to hear.

You have no idea 

A phrase used by people who have no comprehension of a situation that is passively put back on the others in the conversation and when asked to elaborate, cannot.. They say 'you' have no idea when they really mean 'I' have no idea.
How was the math test?

Oh, you have no idea.

That's why I asked. tell me about it.

<Blank stare>