hatesturbate 

The act of masturbating to someone you hate. The homely person's hate-fuck.

Dude, that Tila Tequila is one nasty, anti-semitic piece of trash but I will definitely hatesturbate to her porn later.

hatesturbate by Prestige Johnson January 24, 2014

Hoesturbate 

Hoesturbate: When a hoe appears to be masturbating.

Holy Shit! Look at that girl hoesturbate!

Hoesturbate by Gummy Kitten September 1, 2021

Hamasturbate

To do something that only serves your selfish needs and does not do anything with regards for anyone else nor does it advance your group forward. Not to mention your self-indulgent actions just leave a hot and sticky mess.

The majority of Arab leaders only seem to be able to hamasturbate. They pleasure themselves at the expense of their people and their people's future.

Hamasturbate by Snarcitz November 24, 2012

hesturbate 

twiddle the bean or jack in an unusual manner, with thoughts of doing something particularly dirty that is not always associated with sex. Masturbation that is a mixture of very perverted and very funny. Often punctuated by Ha! This word has become popular on porn boards, and is derived from Hester, wearer of the scarlet letter.

"I imagined you shoving that evian bottle in your cooch, and I had to go hesturbate"

hesturbate by Olivia Yearns November 10, 2008

hasturbate 

to masturbate while under the hallucinogenic effect of opioids

Dude 1: that new VR porn is so realistic! It took me to all kinds of places besides the bedroom.
I remember surfing the pacific, wrestling some hobos, going down on Danny Devito and punching a puma!
Dude 2: umm I was using the VR headset last night....
Dude 1: Oh...I may have just done a whole heap of heroin instead
Dude 2: .....
Danny Devito: next time you hasturbate fella leave me out of it!
Dude 2: bet he didn't complain last night! (high fives dude 1)

hasturbate by GozUnlimited July 27, 2016

Hatesturbating 

The act of thinking angry thoughts in order to get oneself in a rage.

Dude, calm down and stop hatesturbating.

Hatesturbating by Phaex February 17, 2009

hairsturbate 

when one touches their hair excessively and so tenderly and lovingly it almost resembles masturbation. Teenage girls constantly hairsturbate, being as they are completely obsessed with how their hair looks ALL OF THE TIME.

*Morgan keeps touching her hair in the hallway at school*
Morgan: I straightened my hair this morning, does it look alright *grabs and tucks behind ears, messes up then combs through with fingers.*
Olivia: It looks fine.
Morgan: Really? I thought it looked away, maybe if i wore it like this...
Olivia: Bye! *walks away quickly to Jenna*
Jenna: What's with Morgan touching her hair?
Olivia: I'm not sure, but i don't think i can stand to watch her hairsturbate for much longer.

hairsturbate by ding dong debra February 7, 2009