Hastience 

hey-shuhnce
noun

1. A reverse dichotomy of the words haste and patience.
2. The act of being hastient.
3. Of or related to the act of outwardly expressing patience whilst suppressing internal feelings of haste.

Not to be confused with Hatians -- nationals of the country of Haiti, or Haisans -- Asians living in Haiti, Hastience is a human quality and trait expressed by many individuals on a day to day basis within the queued, monotonous, institutional, repetitious, cyclical, unfulfilling construct of society colloquially known as "modernity."

Joe expressed astounding hastience as he waited to be anally probed by the TSA agents on his flight to Chicago so as not to be perceived as anxious or threatening lest he get full-on fisted.

Barry hastiently awaited for his girlfriend to be done with her period so that he could properly get his rocks off without sacrificing hygiene or fidelity.

Related forms:

Hastient
Hastiently
Hastientness

Hastience by George Stuffalottapuss December 15, 2011

hoscience 

Hoscience is the female equivalent of broscience where the anecdotal reports of anyone who has lost even the smallest amount of weight is more credible than scientific research. In the case of hoscience it is more often the perpetuation of outdated dieting strategies.

The popularity of fad diets like Master Cleanse, Cabbage Soup, hCG, etc. is hoscience at its best... losing weight fast is more important than being healthy - even though scientific research has shown that none of these are successful long-term.

You can eat more calories during your period because your body is working harder.

No eating after 7p.

Eat with a baby spoon.

You should avoid fruit because of the sugar.

Belts and shorts that make you sweat actually make you lose fat, too.

Shakeweight - enough said.

Women should lift low weights with high repetition so that they don't become bulky - even though genetics (and steroid use) are what determines your physique.

hoscience by SFVegan November 14, 2011

hatience 

A form of patience demonstrated by waiting for an earthquake, tsunami, or other natural disaster to occur until the world cares about a country's poverty and overall poor quality of life. See Haiti earthquake in 2010.

"The inhabitants of Country X have been displaying a lot of hatience. Once they suffer a devastating catastrophe we can do something to help them out, but we shouldn't get involved just yet."

hatience by Subway Rabbit February 24, 2010

Hastient 

hey-shuhnt.

1. A reverse dichotomy of the words haste and patience.
2. Outwardly expressing patience whilst suppressing internal feelings of haste.

Not to be confused with Hatians -- nationals of the country of Haiti, or Haisans -- Asians living in Haiti, Hastience is a human quality and trait expressed by many individuals on a day to day basis in the queued, monotonous, institutional, repetitious, cyclical, unfulfilling construct of society known as "modernity."

Hastience
Hastiently
Hastientness

Every US presidential candidate is hastient with regard to their ascension to the Presidency. Once they get there, they're just psychopaths on a rampage at the helm of the largest and most powerful military ever known to humankind.

Whilst awaiting for his boyfriend to climax, Tosh subconsciously gave his man 0 points as he hastiently took it up his now inflamed anus so as not to hurt his haisian man's feminine sensitivity, especially since they had just run out of Cialis.

Hastient by George Stuffalottapuss December 15, 2011

hapstinence 

When you have been celibate, but only by coincidence. You would like to be having sex, it just hasn't happened.

"Yeah, it's been a pretty long dry spell. No matter what I try, I'm stuck practicing hapstinence."

hapstinence by southcounty05 January 14, 2017