horseshoes and handgrenades 

The only time/s that almost actually counts.

Mark: "I almost beat that guy!"
John: "Almost only counts in horseshoes and handgrenades."

horseshoes and handgrenades by DefinitionsR'Us March 31, 2008

Hattiesburg Handgun 

receiving fellatio or a hand job and ejaculating clear over your partners head and back into their ass crack, butt hole, or vagina.

" I think I got Allison pregnant yesterday."

"Bro, what the fuck! I told you to always use a condom!"

" I didn't bang her. I shot her with the Hattiesburg Handgun."

(high five)

Hattiesburg Handgun by Handy Man Dan March 4, 2011

Handgie 

Your basic hand job for a man but without a climax. It is just to titillate - or if she's too tired to complete it.

Alice gave me a handgie last evening, I had blue balls all that night.

Handgie by dw8177 May 22, 2016

crew served handgun 

This is a satirical remark regarding oversized, impractical pistols.

Gawwwd, that .50 is a crew served handgun!

crew served handgun by I, Wreckerrr March 31, 2021

social handgrenade 

Someone, who when out with friends at a social gathering could ‘go off’ at anytime and cause complete and utter chaos to what was a well conducted evening

Wy did you invite Garner out man? you know he’s a social hand grenade, and I’m meeting that smart bird from work later on, I can’t belive it

social handgrenade by Brian July 9, 2003

Handgelina Jolie

The hand your often masturbate with, a pun to Angelina Jolie

Forever Alone Guy: Be right back, gonna have a quick meeting with Handgelina Jolie

Handgelina Jolie by MutahMan March 6, 2011

The Handgun 

The Handgun (Verb). To insert both your index and middle finger into a woman's vagina and place you thumb on her clit, thus making a handgun shape with your hand.

"My girl was well horny last night, so I gave her 'The Handgun'.

The Handgun by superhigh002 June 25, 2015