ghoti is what you write down to confuse someone. Pronounced 'fish', it utilises the 'gh' from 'cough', the 'o' from 'women' and the 'ti' from 'action' to become a confusing little bugger. If you are writing to a posh person, be sure to start a conversation about fish, and say 'ghoti' several times. It means fish, too.
Dear Fishmongers,
The ghoti you sell is weird and unhygenic! That ghoti made me sick twice. I hate your ghoti!
"gh" sometimes makes a /f/ sound as in tough
"o" sometimes makes a /ɪ/ sound as in women
"ti" sometimes make a /ʃ/ sound as in nation
put it all together and ghoti is pronounced /fɪʃ/.
what people don't realize is that this doesn't even make sense with english's normal phonotactic rules. "gh" is never /f/ word-initially and "ti" is never /ʃ/ without a vowel after it. so this doesn't work.