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Epic fuck tonne 

Grossly oversized quantity.
Unfathomable in most circumstances.
"I love you an epic fuck tonne Richard"
"Charlene drank an epic fuck tonne last night"
Epic fuck tonne by Team Charchie February 27, 2017

Metric Fuck Tonne

Unit of measurement.
Built upon the Old English term "shit load", which is very lacking in actual measurable significance, a Metric Fuck Tonne is a significantly more accurate. Easily identified with the abbreviation FT, a Metric Fuck Tonne is greater than one may care to measure. Most commonly used to describe weight which is clearly no less than one thousand kilograms, but when actual measurement has not taken place. Not to be confused with the antiquated, Imperial Fuck Tonne.
James: "I just couldn't get the fire to take, I think the wood was still green, so I threw a fuck tonne of petrol on and off it went!"

Frank: "Was that a imperial fuck tonne James?"

James: "Great question Frank - It was definitely one Metric Fuck Tonne"

metric fucktonne 

Weighs marginally less than an Imperial Fuckton.
1 Imperial Fuckton = 1.016 Metric Fucktonnes
"Man, I've a shitload of work this week"
"That's nothing faeg, I've a metric fucktonne of assignments due tomorrow morning"
"So, still going on the beer tonight?"
"Does the Pope shit in the woods?"
metric fucktonne by SyxPak October 15, 2003

Fucktonne 

Theoretical limit of weight based on the maximum amount of mass that could be considered to still be within the bounds of earths normal gravity.

Impossible to achieve as adding that much mass would alter the Earths properties to the point of altering the gravity on Earth.
Covering the entire Earth's surface with 62 miles of super dense substance (62 miles at sea level, adjust accordingly)

The weight of said substance would be considered a Fucktonne
Fucktonne by Proffesor F Wolf August 11, 2008

fucktunnel 

He thrust his pole inside that tight fucktunnel to the hilt.
fucktunnel by Tiago Zuhr October 16, 2008

Metric Fucktonne 

me-trik fuhk tuhn (Australian)
Noun, Adjective. Often used as hyperbole.

A non-standardized unit of measurement.
"Wow- that's a metric fucktonne of rain through most of coastal Queensland and ALL of NSW!" (Asher, K.)
Metric Fucktonne by Dumpster.Diva January 26, 2013