the best damn sport in the WORLD if it is played the american way, the english way is very girly as you can not do anything and try to fake your way through the whole 90 minutes, and THE Ohio State Buckeyes are the best damn team in the land
by James the football player July 22, 2008
an excuse for guys to check eachother out, some say the game is fun to play, but this is just a rationalization for the expressing of homoerotic emotions, through the comforting medium of sport. Appraisal of other males can be conducted during the game and also after in the men's locker which is sporty and fun and chemically involving as opposed to in the men's bathroom which can be psychologically invasive and shameful as society has conditioned us to view our bodily functions as uncultured and unspeakable. Homoeroticism in men is as natural as it is in women. A correlary for football in women is competitive trampolining.
Football is a useless unwatchable abomination of a sport as is trampolining for women, but I let my husband watch it because it helps him to establish wholesome connections with other men through sport who are also ashamed of their secret attraction to other men.
by bluewatcher December 6, 2010
A useless sport in which men run around on a large field in tight pants, tackling each other over a silly little ball.
The man tried to tackle the other man who had the ball, but he didn't want to get his tight pants dirty.
Guy 1: What the hell are they doing?
Guy 2: They must be playing football.
Guy 1: What the hell are they doing?
Guy 2: They must be playing football.
by googleroxballz May 14, 2011
1. (World) Football (aka Soccer) is a simple minded woman's sport (of course, how could it be otherwise...) where they run around a field trying to kick a ball; like a sugar loaded dog; into the other's team goal stand, or whatever. Operationally, it is a lot like Hockey, except a lot more gay. 'Men' are also known to practice this lame game (shit); in this case, a bunch of effeminate losers get off to rub and watch someone else's legs, butts and other private parts that giggle around. Worst still, the 'men' that like to watch this travesty are obvious closet homos that fantasise being humped by the players over the excruciatingly long and boring hour and a half plus that actually contains under five minutes worth of actual action. The mad skills required are dancing, for dribbling; and running, for positioning. Seriously; even though only and asshole would actually take it like that. The strategic component is laughable (I guess that helps to explain the popularity of it); just run, kick-pass and shoot; repeat ad nauseam. The only little fun is that you can make the ball handler trip. May have to take a penalty shot; or some other bullshit; but if done correctly, it's definetly worth it (imho).
2. (US) American football is a sorry-ass redneck recreation of a fantasy battle. Albeit a little more manly than 'Succer' (ie, less gay); however it has little to do with actual kicking, being more akin to Rugby; and hence it has to do more with name calling, crazy stupid hitting, physical hurting and permanent injuries. That is to say, carry by hand the revered ovally shaped ball (dildo) to the other side whilst avoiding being enviously, butt-hurtingly tagged (tackled or better stated, fucked) to score. Passes are made by throwing; there's however a little kicking overall, mostly for extra scoring points. The game goes like this; the captain (may be directed by coaches) select a complex predetermined offensive/defensive play (at least inasmuch as those neanderthals can comprehend), the team executes, someone scores (or don't); hopefully getting hurt; and it starts all over again. Seeing someone (a moron) taken out nearly unconscious (or badly hurt) is the main reason to watch. To make it more true contact like, should be played without any protective gear; also, a couple of weapons would spice things up a notch and make it more macho and interesting; to say the least (for me anyhow).
2. (US) American football is a sorry-ass redneck recreation of a fantasy battle. Albeit a little more manly than 'Succer' (ie, less gay); however it has little to do with actual kicking, being more akin to Rugby; and hence it has to do more with name calling, crazy stupid hitting, physical hurting and permanent injuries. That is to say, carry by hand the revered ovally shaped ball (dildo) to the other side whilst avoiding being enviously, butt-hurtingly tagged (tackled or better stated, fucked) to score. Passes are made by throwing; there's however a little kicking overall, mostly for extra scoring points. The game goes like this; the captain (may be directed by coaches) select a complex predetermined offensive/defensive play (at least inasmuch as those neanderthals can comprehend), the team executes, someone scores (or don't); hopefully getting hurt; and it starts all over again. Seeing someone (a moron) taken out nearly unconscious (or badly hurt) is the main reason to watch. To make it more true contact like, should be played without any protective gear; also, a couple of weapons would spice things up a notch and make it more macho and interesting; to say the least (for me anyhow).
Football in all it's incarnations, still remains the most inconsequential, sub-mental and gayest shit; unequivocably so. A foolish game for the truly fool. Every decent and rational human being should despise it.
by manigordo April 2, 2008
by givemehead5 November 25, 2019
by FAG-O-TRON-3000 January 23, 2018
The Presidential briefcase that contains launch codes to launch nuclear missiles. It travels with him anywhere he goes allowing him to start a nuclear war from anywhere at anytime.
by Mistahtom January 13, 2006